Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter Paige is 23 now and she has always found eating difficult, in the sense that she’s not adventurous when eating as she’s afraid foods she doesn’t know will make her sick, and that if for one reason or another she feels unwell or has an effect after eating a food that particular food is put on to her “forbidden” list, never to be eaten ever again. Now Paige eats very little other than sandwiches, cheese, hot dogs in rolls and until recently tomato soup. The soup recently caused her heartburn so that has now also been added to her forbidden list.
Paige is not eating enough and I’m worried that she’s going to make herself very sick in the end. I’ve expressed my concerns to her but she says she’s too scared to try new foods or the foods that made her feel weird. I am worried and I don’t know how to help her with this. She won’t see her gp or anybody else about it. Please help me.
Hello and welcome to the forums. I've no expertise in this besides being autistic and having autistic friends. Is your worry that Paige is not eating enough, or eating unhealthily? And when you say 'sick' do you mean fear of nausea or any kind of 'unwell'? Fear of vomiting ('emetophobia') can limit people a lot. Is there any reason to think she's physically more sensitive to different foods than other people? Does she think so? Does she prepare her own food? You might find some related experience in other threads on this forum if you search.
All I know is that qualified dieticians can help enormously with any eating disorder or fears or routines around food. They can be very understanding of people's psychology (such as underlying depression or anxiety) and aim at routines that are healthy even if idiosyncratic.The trouble may be getting Paige to agree to this help, and then finding it. A GP should be able to refer, but services can be scarce. Some eating disorder helplines.
Maybe be honest about your fears, but avoid any pressure? Pressure usually makes things harder for autistic people (see PDA demand avoidance). There are lots of healthy things that can go into sandwiches. Assuming she lives with you, presumably you can leave salad and fruit available in case she does feel well enough and decide to experiment: for example, a cheese and apple sandwich probably isn't that much more nutritious, but is more interesting...
I’ve tried encouraging her to try different foods. I’m never forceful or if I am I don’t intend to be. It’s just a worrying time as she’s looking thin, pale and I really don’t think she eats nearly enough. But when I tell her this she says she’s fine. Other than her sandwiches she really doesn’t eat anything else, not even snacks during the day. She was eating biscuits but they gave her a stomach ache so she stopped with those as well. I would say Paige has emetophobia, though she also does have a fear of getting ill from colds as well. Her fear of vomiting began when she was twelve after she’d got car sick, from that day on she hardly went out in the car and became very cautious about what she ate. If someone else was ill at home she’d stay in her room and if they were ill at school she used to come home. I assumed it was just her part of Autism why she’s sensitive towards food but I am worried she may have a condition causing it as she has said before that foods that cause her problems get added to the list, but I’ve never been able to get Paige to the doctors to identify what other problems may be causing this, if any. I make Paige’s food but she does give it a thorough inspection before she eats it. In the past I’ve noticed if she thinks her bread looks “off” then she will pick around the bad bit.
Thank you for the help lines. Getting Paige to agree to go to see someone will be very hard. In the past whenever I’ve tried to take her to see anyone professional she has a meltdown which usually results in a bad panic attack after. But I will try and talk to her again about this and see if we can get it sorted as I don’t think this can go on for much longer, a girl her age should be eating a lot more and she shouldn’t be having bad effects from the food either. And I’ll try not to make her feel pressured.
And for the meantime I will try and spice up her meals. We have apples so I will try the cheese and apple sandwich at lunch and see how that goes down. Hopefully it will be something Paige enjoys.
Thank you for your reply.
Maybe try calling some eating disorders helpline to see what are the steps to follow. If she is really not eating enough.