Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm socially inept, but I want to make friends online whilst it's impossible for me to make them outdoors. (A skill I don't have either.)
The thing is, I don't know where to find these communities to join, and I don't know how to socialise *at all*. I can't start conversations (I can't come up with anything to say for the life of me, and when I come up with something situational it always fizzles out), make appropriate comments or be likeable. I always get ignored on Reddit when I try to interact socially, so forums are likely a no go.
My interests are really vague and limited and I can't really find any communities with people I share common interests with because of them (gaming/anime/books), and I am absolutely terrible at coming up with what I've heard and seen to be the most important thing for making conversation, questions and small talk. I just can't do it, and I see other people succeed with it.
I used to have a friend who was similar but made loads of friends on Twitter all of a sudden, because according to them it just kind of happened.
I really want to meet new people and form connections with them, but when I can't socialise, and the pure hatred I feel for myself when I ssee and hear other people online with their own friends, making them without a problem, socialising, having people to talk to, it makes me feel like horrible, and I have no motivation to do anything becausr I'm naturally ambiverted I gain my energy from socialising then having my time to myself afterwards. Just my luck that I also happen to suck at socialising and have Aspergers.
TL;DR The only way I can get through this is following my therapists advice and making friends online, throughout Discord or other social platforms (which I don't know how to find and participate in, I only know of the latter because my therapist suggested it to me) I just cn't seem to find communities on there that apply to me or even feel welcome or socialise in those places successfully. I dont ever meet any new people online when people out there are even making friends every single day online.
What do you guys suggest I do?
Hello, Last year I went to a convention autminds in holland. I met some people from a dutch forum there.
The forum just disappeared this newyear. Just went up in smoke. Just one person I still keep in touch with, but that's more than I would have ever hoped for. She seems to enjoy my cynical view on life, brought as a joke, and I like her advise on gardening and we send each other foto's of the garden. And cats, autists are more likely to be cat-people...
As an autist you might have some hobbies that you really know everything about, if that's gaming, I also like computergames a lot.As a teenager I was adicted to Civilisation I and I still play it from time to time. If I have trouble sleeping, I even think about being in the game and running a sweetly humming empire... kind of smoothens the brainwaves. My favourite rpg is wizardry 8. I played it through about 4 times until now.
What do you mean, you can't socialize, you're doing it :)...