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Confused and scared

floss boss

Our wonderful 12yr old son has just been diagnosed with high functioning autism, this has been a long process (2.5) yrs in the waiting. Although I have been prepared for a diagnosis I now feel terribly upset and almost in a feeling of denial, like perhapes they have got this wrong. Is it normal to be in denial, I was told I would probably feel grief. I have so many unanswered questions and feel so scared that I'm doing things wrong. I was told that we will recieve all the paperwork within the next 2wks and that the autism outreach team will go into school, but don't know what this entails. Do we tell the school or wait for the professionals to do it? We haven't even told our son yet as don't know how to approach it correctly with out upsetting him further, he is obviously aware of being assessed, however is expecting a diagnosis of aspergers as this was discussed with him. But due to his language verbal/comprehension difficulties autism is the final conclusion. I just don't know what to do next to best support our wonderful son, if anyone can advise us we would be extremly grateful.

Parents

  • hi floss boss - welcome.  There are lots of posts on this site from parents who, although as prepared as they can be for a diagnosis find that they more affected than they expected.   So have a look at those posts - it will help you to understand your feelings.  Can I say that it takes time to adjust?  You can't rush these emotions.  About feeling scared you're doing things wrong.  Please cut yourself a bit of slack - don't be so hard on yourself.  Emotions can run high.  About your unanswered questions.  Again, this is an excellent site to check things out.  It is also a great site for support from others who understand, so make use of it whenever you want.  I've read that HF autism is very similar to aspergers + that sometimes professionals find it difficult to distinguish.  Check what I'm saying, just in case I've misunderstood.  If it's v similar then you'll be better prepared when you explain things to your son..   It's good that the outreach team will go into the school.  They'll be looking at ways to help your son get the most out of his education, to see what support he may need etc.   If it were me, I'd like to see the paperwork 1st, before they go in so you cd give them a call + ask for further details about when they plan to go to the school + also get any clarification you may need from the paperwk.  I don't see any harm in letting the school know about your son's diagnosis, but I do think he needs to know before others do.  You can also ring the nas helpline.  I understand it can be busy but if you keep trying you will get thru.  There'll be other posters along soon who I'm sure will be of help.  I know everything seems to be happening at once after a long wait + that can bowl all of you over.  We understand, just give yourselves time.  bw

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  • hi floss boss - welcome.  There are lots of posts on this site from parents who, although as prepared as they can be for a diagnosis find that they more affected than they expected.   So have a look at those posts - it will help you to understand your feelings.  Can I say that it takes time to adjust?  You can't rush these emotions.  About feeling scared you're doing things wrong.  Please cut yourself a bit of slack - don't be so hard on yourself.  Emotions can run high.  About your unanswered questions.  Again, this is an excellent site to check things out.  It is also a great site for support from others who understand, so make use of it whenever you want.  I've read that HF autism is very similar to aspergers + that sometimes professionals find it difficult to distinguish.  Check what I'm saying, just in case I've misunderstood.  If it's v similar then you'll be better prepared when you explain things to your son..   It's good that the outreach team will go into the school.  They'll be looking at ways to help your son get the most out of his education, to see what support he may need etc.   If it were me, I'd like to see the paperwork 1st, before they go in so you cd give them a call + ask for further details about when they plan to go to the school + also get any clarification you may need from the paperwk.  I don't see any harm in letting the school know about your son's diagnosis, but I do think he needs to know before others do.  You can also ring the nas helpline.  I understand it can be busy but if you keep trying you will get thru.  There'll be other posters along soon who I'm sure will be of help.  I know everything seems to be happening at once after a long wait + that can bowl all of you over.  We understand, just give yourselves time.  bw

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