Extreme sound sensitivity - aspergers

Hi =) How's it been?

It sounds like a very stressful situation and your siblings sound awful at the moment. From my own experience, teenagers tend to not want to understand you and your difficulties.

I don't really have any helpful advice, but one of the most recent things we've implemented at home is a "traffic light" system. I made a picture of a traffic light with a smiley face on the green, a straight line face on the amber, and a sad face on the red. I then drew some hair with a hole the size of the faces in the middle of it. The hair frames the face I feel currently. There are also arrows with moods written on them, like "grumpy" and "tired", to help clarify how I feel. The traffic light is on the fridge and is noticeable. It helps my family to understand my mood and even ask me to explain, even though they know I might not understand why I feel like that. It feels like they're more interested in how I feel.

My younger sister (17) has been a nightmare to live with for years and has been the trigger for most of my manic depressive episodes, but is absolutely unbearable now. Whenever she was stressed, she would go to the gym or see her friends. Now, because of the lockdown, she's stuck inside and is extremely loud. She likes to listen to music or watch telly. I share the room next to her and I can hear EVERYTHING. After a couple of days of that, I get so worked up and usually have a meltdown. People have always said whenever I told them about my sister that "she's a teenager" and "she'll grow out of it eventually". 'Eventually' feels so far away. However, I am on the lucky side as my mother still goes to work in an otherwise empty office, so I can join her a few days a week.

I am a person that always has to have the last word, which does not fare well when in an argument. In the last few months, I have learned not to retaliate as it escalates the situation further. It's extremely difficult to do it, and I sometimes fail. Take today, she was in the living room watching the telly really loudly. She was being really snarky - which is a shame 'cause she wasn't that bad yesterday. I was trying to make lunch in the kitchen, with the door closed, and I could still hear the television. I tried my hardest to not flip out, so I changed my traffic light to the red sad frowny face and added a few word arrows. My sister saw the traffic light and went upstairs around 10 mins after that. She came downstairs a couple of hours later and even asked me about the traffic light and that she'd seen it earlier. Both of us were in a better mood by then. 

Personally, I would advise against changing your sleep pattern as you would probably be kept awake during the day. From my experience, when my mother ignored how I felt when I most needed her ear, it was usually because she was extremely stressed. I would recommend having a chat with her whenever she's free, and talk about random things and about how she's feeling. I don't particularly like people telling me how they feel because I don't know how to respond, but I try to ask them because talking about worries and stresses sometimes helps them. I try to bite my tongue and offer encouraging and helpful comments.

Do you guys do activities together at home? They can be things like games; exercise; arts and crafts; and chores. These might help anyone feeling lonely, anxious, or stressed.

Is there a way for you to go for a short walk and sit on a bench somewhere to read books for an hour? If anyone asks (I doubt they will), you can say that you have Asperger's, are trying to improve your mental state and will go home soon. 

I'm not an expert, but in my opinion, when a person feels vulnerable they often pester another vulnerable person. To me, it sounds like your brother isn't coping well and his violent outbursts corroborate that. He might feel like talking to someone about how he feels, but has no idea how to go about it. It sounds like your sister might want some attention, too. 

Sometimes, people need somebody to talk or vent their frustrations to. Sometimes, that someone's going to have to be you. It's not a particularly pleasant process, and you'll probably just get an "I'M FINE!" even though they're not fine, but it's worth it because they may feel like they can share and trust their feelings someone, and let them feel like their voice is being heard. If they do say that they're "fine", don't press the matter any further. Turns out, people don't like being bombarded with the same question over and over again.

My opinion is probably wrong, but I hope it helps, even just a little.

Hope you're okay, stay safe =)

Hi =) How's it been?

It sounds like a very stressful situation and your siblings sound awful at the moment. From my own experience, teenagers tend to not want to understand you and your difficulties.

I don't really have any helpful advice, but one of the most recent things we've implemented at home is a "traffic light" system. I made a picture of a traffic light with a smiley face on the green, a straight line face on the amber, and a sad face on the red. I then drew some hair with a hole the size of the faces in the middle of it. The hair frames the face I feel currently. There are also arrows with moods written on them, like "grumpy" and "tired", to help clarify how I feel. The traffic light is on the fridge and is noticeable. It helps my family to understand my mood and even ask me to explain, even though they know I might not understand why I feel like that. It feels like they're more interested in how I feel.

My younger sister (17) has been a nightmare to live with for years and has been the trigger for most of my manic depressive episodes, but is absolutely unbearable now. Whenever she was stressed, she would go to the gym or see her friends. Now, because of the lockdown, she's stuck inside and is extremely loud. She likes to listen to music or watch telly. I share the room next to her and I can hear EVERYTHING. After a couple of days of that, I get so worked up and usually have a meltdown. People have always said whenever I told them about my sister that "she's a teenager" and "she'll grow out of it eventually". 'Eventually' feels so far away. However, I am on the lucky side as my mother still goes to work in an otherwise empty office, so I can join her a few days a week.

I am a person that always has to have the last word, which does not fare well when in an argument. In the last few months, I have learned not to retaliate as it escalates the situation further. It's extremely difficult to do it, and I sometimes fail. Take today, she was in the living room watching the telly really loudly. She was being really snarky - which is a shame 'cause she wasn't that bad yesterday. I was trying to make lunch in the kitchen, with the door closed, and I could still hear the television. I tried my hardest to not flip out, so I changed my traffic light to the red sad frowny face and added a few word arrows. My sister saw the traffic light and went upstairs around 10 mins after that. She came downstairs a couple of hours later and even asked me about the traffic light and that she'd seen it earlier. Both of us were in a better mood by then. 

Personally, I would advise against changing your sleep pattern as you would probably be kept awake during the day. From my experience, when my mother ignored how I felt when I most needed her ear, it was usually because she was extremely stressed. I would recommend having a chat with her whenever she's free, and talk about random things and about how she's feeling. I don't particularly like people telling me how they feel because I don't know how to respond, but I try to ask them because talking about worries and stresses sometimes helps them. I try to bite my tongue and offer encouraging and helpful comments.

Do you guys do activities together at home? They can be things like games; exercise; arts and crafts; and chores. These might help anyone feeling lonely, anxious, or stressed.

Is there a way for you to go for a short walk and sit on a bench somewhere to read books for an hour? If anyone asks (I doubt they will), you can say that you have Asperger's, are trying to improve your mental state and will go home soon. 

I'm not an expert, but in my opinion, when a person feels vulnerable they often pester another vulnerable person. To me, it sounds like your brother isn't coping well and his violent outbursts corroborate that. He might feel like talking to someone about how he feels, but has no idea how to go about it. It sounds like your sister might want some attention, too. 

Sometimes, people need somebody to talk or vent their frustrations to. Sometimes, that someone's going to have to be you. It's not a particularly pleasant process, and you'll probably just get an "I'M FINE!" even though they're not fine, but it's worth it because they may feel like they can share and trust their feelings someone, and let them feel like their voice is being heard. If they do say that they're "fine", don't press the matter any further. Turns out, people don't like being bombarded with the same question over and over again.

My opinion is probably wrong, but I hope it helps, even just a little.

Hope you're okay, stay safe =)