A bit of a long read but basically - I am struggling with my family being so loud and rude to me all the time.
I really hope I dont come across as moany or petty - I am so grateful to have a home and be safe and healthy physically.
My brother (13) has been being incredibly loud in his room, which is right next to mine . When he is on his Xbox he is yelling down the microphone to his friends. He also watches his YouTube on his phone at a dangerously high level to the point where I can hear every single word from a different room. When I move out to sit in the room we have outside, he suddenly appears to start playing football. The noise of him kicking the ball is really loud and when he is shooting into the goal, all the lovely flowers that were planted to remember my grandmother get ruined by his ball rolling into them. He is in no way sorry for this. When I was young, about 7, I got hit by a football when we were walking through the school football pitch and I have been terrified of footballs ever since. My brother knows this and purposely uses it to get a reaction out of me, which he does because it’s my biggest fear to get hit by a ball again. I have to basically live with my headphones on, which really physically hurt because of how hard they are sitting on my ear to cancel out the noise.
My sister (15) has been just as bad. She makes fun of the school I go to, she boasts about how thin she is which she knows makes me uncomfortable as I have always been really conscious of my size. And the worst part of all is she constantly picks at me. If I jump at a loud noise, she will suddenly get really angry and make a horrible remark at me being “overly sensitive and dramatic”. I don’t mean to be this way – if I could be less sensitive to sound I would. I hate never being able to just sit and read my book in peace. She also will quite happily use all my stuff without so much of a thought of asking, and when confronted, will reply “but I didn’t use all of it, it’s not my fault you leave stuff lying around”. Of course, I am going to leave my special conditioner in the bathroom! That doesn’t mean it’s okay just to use it. Twice last week she used up 2 of my birthday evening routine items. I was absolutely gutted because I payed for them myself, and all my mum said was “She’s embarrassed, just leave it. You can get another one.” Last week when the weather was really nice, my sister took my sun chair. I asked for it back and she went off at me. I got upset and emphasised that it was my chair ( it was, I got it for my birthday) and that I would like to sit and read my book, which I cannot do anywhere else as my brother Robbie was being loud and my dad was working in the room in the garden. Both my mum and sister started saying how selfish I was and my mum even said “she doesn’t have the ability to not be selfish”. This is what started me feeling really low.
My mum had always been the person I would go to when I was having a rough time and she would help. But recently she has been ignoring how upset I have been over my sibling’s actions and not doing anything to get them to stop picking on me. For example, when I ask my brother to stop being so loud, he sometimes acts violently which gets me worked up or even hurt when it’s at me. My mum would say it was my fault for asking him to be quiet. I feel like I don’t have anyone to help me anymore, as I can’t go to my mum because she will just brush over it. I have no where to go to get peace without disrupting everything (eg if I go to my parents’ room, they don’t have anywhere to go) and I can’t simply sit in my room because my brother in his room next to mine is so loud. I do not feel safe and relaxed anywhere. It starts the minute I wake up (I am awoken by him yelling to his friends or a family member). The only time I get a smidge of peace is very late at night, about 1am. I am seriously thinking about trying to change my sleeping pattern so I sleep during the day and can have at least a little quiet during the night.
Does anyone have any advice? I know I am probably overreacting but this is all getting me down! I'm so sorry If this comes across as "moaning" or being petty"
PS: I am currently 17, and am 18 in a few weeks. I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 14. I