Published on 12, July, 2020
Me and my best friend are autistic and he enjoys alcoholic drinks. We sometimes go to the pub together but I struggle with it.
He happens to be drinking a lot of alcohol and says for banter that he is an alcoholic. When he first said it, I just laughed but when we video call (especially if we're currently in lockdown) he is drinking. I sometimes notice he is grumpy and doesn't seem enthusiastic about our friendship and i'm wondering if that's why.
I told him i was worried about him becoming an alcoholic and he said he wouldn't care if he became one. So i took that as he wouldn't care if he became abusive.
I am transgender (female to male) and have been surrounded by toxic masculinity for most of my life, even though professionals should be more educated these days. I was in college in with the 16 year olds as I'm special needs and the person doing a drugs and alcohol education talk made us watch a video of a drunk man vomiting and then said men support it and women are maturer and are obsessed with being pregnant so I ran out of the room crying and a staff member was not very nice to me. I am craving some testosterone and a beer because my best mate is encouraging me by displaying these traits.
I'm crying every single night about it and need him to give me a hug but I worry he'll be angry with me. I'm very worried he's not himself anymore and i'm so scared i'm going to lose him or he'll end up in prison. I don't want to end up screaming at him.
What shall I do? My heart is breaking.!
I know that I like a good drink once in a while, and I like my evening glass of Guinness too, but you don't have to drink booze to prove your masculinity, if you don't want to then don't.
That too unfortunately :(
If you don't want to drink alcohol don't do it. Don't do something just out of peer pressure from someone else.
A good friend will respect your wishes.
I was an alcoholic for 10 years. Your friend sounds like he might be one if he's drinking a lot. I was in denial about being one, maybe he is if he is one as well.
For many people who drink alcohol often, their life revolves around it. They want other people to be drunk too. And they often have few interests outside drinking.
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. It sounds like a really tough situation, especially considering there's no way to get together and talk in person.
It might be worth giving the NAS helpline a call to see if they have any advice relating to alcohol and autism.
It's also important to get support for yourself. Is there anyone else you're close with who you could talk to? Even if you don't feel you can talk to them about your friend's drinking, they might be able to offer you the emotional support that you're not getting from him at the moment.
asdballerina26 said:have been surrounded by toxic masculinity for most of my life
Don't forget toxic femininity....