Hi, I am in the diagnostic process for HF ASD/Asperger’s, and am becoming scared by me current feelings of self harm, and my uncontrollable mood problems.
The slightest bit of stress is enough to push me over the edge, always towards rage and suicide. I don't think I can carry on much longer feeling like this, and see self harm as one of the only ways of stopping me killing myself.
I have expressed this to my psychiatrist and support workers, but there is little they can do to help, even if talking to them helps me at the time, it is gone within a half hour, and the negativity returns. 70-90% of my time is spent thinking of ending this horrible existence, and I don't know how to stop it in time to be safe.
I have no family support and can't be taking more psychiatric drugs and functioning day to day, which is a struggle now. I need this to stop though, I can't take anymore anxiety and can feel everything shattering around me again, when all I want to do is end this hell now and make everything leave me alone. I want this to end.
I don't even know the point of posting this, as there is nothing people can do to stop this, I just need to say it to people who may understand these feelings I live with constantly. I don't wish to distress people either, I am not sitting about to have a suicide attempt, I have had too many meds to act on these thoughts :(
