Feeling very lost

Hi, it has been nearly a year now since seperating from my ex, he suffered and still does from extreme ocd, which has been the reason for our separation. The last 4 years, I have tried a million percent to be as supportive as I could to fight for our relationship. Every single day was like a nightmare, with myself having to do daily and constant rituals, cleaning everything, washing hands etc, he was very angry at times, shouted at me if I did things wrong, hit the walls. We have two young children together 4 and 2 year olds. The effects of the ocd became to much for us all, so he left and lives in a flat on his own house bound. When he left, he said we could never be together anymore, he could never see a future with me, so I was devastated but was becoming to accept this bit by bit even though it’s been so terribly hard. About a month ago, he has started to contact me again saying he wants to try and work things out, by visiting me and the children a couple of nights a month, but I said no as I’m so so worried the effects of his ocd for us all, and it being to damaging. So the only other option was me meeting him once a month, with the children, my mam has been doing this as he’s not well enough to go on his own. He said no, as he thinks we would both find it to emotional and difficult. I’m so sorry for my long post, I have been suffering so much with this dilemma for such a long time now, and it’s killing me inside everyday. Please has anyone got any advice for me please, with what they think I should do now? He said he might never get better, and wants me to be happy. I’m just so worried if in the future, if he gets better, and meets someone new, he might turn around and say well you weren’t there to support me, but I feel like I’ve been left with no choice? It feels like torment. I really can’t remember the last time I felt happy. Thank you so much for listening to, it means a lot to me x

Parents
  • Hi. I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this.

    I've suffered from OCD all my life and went through a course of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) last year. It's made such a huge difference to me - OCD no longer takes over my life, and I can get through the day without having to do all of the routines I used to have. 

    OCD is truly debilitating and I empathise with anyone who has to go through it, but you also need to take care of your own mental health, as well as your children's. Perhaps you could persuade him to try therapy first and take it from there. Ultimately, it's his decision whether or not to get help, but you need to look after yourself too.

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  • Hi. I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this.

    I've suffered from OCD all my life and went through a course of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) last year. It's made such a huge difference to me - OCD no longer takes over my life, and I can get through the day without having to do all of the routines I used to have. 

    OCD is truly debilitating and I empathise with anyone who has to go through it, but you also need to take care of your own mental health, as well as your children's. Perhaps you could persuade him to try therapy first and take it from there. Ultimately, it's his decision whether or not to get help, but you need to look after yourself too.

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