Waiting

How did you cope with waiting for an assessment?

It drives me crazy. I can’t stop thinking about it. Whatever I do the thought about upcoming assessment is still on my mind. 

I was referred two years ago, after nearly 2 years of counselling and CBT, which stopped after referral (they didn’t work anyway)

Initially I was told waiting time is 12 months. I thought I could handle that.

After 12 months I was told waiting time is 2 years.

2 years from my referral passed and I’ve been told it’s going to be another year. 

It drives me crazy. 

I don’t want to read about autism too much in case it affects my behaviour and consequently the assessment outcome.

Private assessment is too expensive. Especially that I don’t know the outcome, I can’t risk paying so much and then be left with no answer.

I’m constantly worrying about lack of informants (I have nobody who could provide information about my childhood).

I’ve already written small memoirs which I need to edit before my assessment. 

I’m overthinking and overanalysing everything I do and think, trying to find various explanations for my thoughts and behaviour.

I don’t want to go to GP because I’m worried that it might somehow affect assessment outcome.

I’ve tried to calm myself down with St John's-wort and 5-htp tablets but I didn’t notice any effect.

I just don’t know how to cope with waiting anymore.