I am currently working on a suicide prevention/crisis plan. One of the questions are 'what are your reasons for living', I really have no idea and can't think of any and have said this to my worker.
I wondered what other ASD/AS people's answer would be to this.
If you can, a sentence or two written would be welcome.
There are a few reasons I wouldn't want to die. First, I specifically wouldn't want to die at someone else's hands because the idea brings me a strong feeling of disgust and embarassment. I've saw a lot of videos of people being murdered (i.e. by the cartels and ISIS), and it's always bugged me to think that I could be killed by a common thug one day.
In general, I wouldn't want to die because I know that I'd lose consciousness forever, which would mean every thought I've ever had and everything I've ever done to get to those conclusions would now be completely useless. I worry that when I'm gone, the only humans left will be stupid-but-brave, and smart-but-docile, and eventually my species will go extinct (which is definitely worse than death).
I also dread the thought of some stranger handling my body and potentially measuring my penis, and all the weird things people do with dead bodies like cremation (which is stupid because I think that kills off most if not all of my DNA, and all the other parts inside me which are still alive).
I could die a lot more comfortably knowing that I'm going to be eaten by wild animals, or buried whole in the ground, because that way it's not the end of my journey, only the end of whatever is bothering me about this body/life.