He can't fall asleep but is soooo tired!

Hi,

 I would say try putting him to bed later, 7 30 is rather early for an 11 year old. Does he have black out curtains to make his room dark now that the evenings are lighter?

Depending on his sensory profile, a weighted blanket might help.

You could ask your GP/paed about Melontin.

Cerebra offer a free sleep nurse service and the NAS have leaflets on sleep problems.

Melly

It strikes me that 7.30 is incredibly early for an autistic child of 11 to go to bed.

I suggest later would be better, as your current strategy means he doesnt fall asleep for hours anyway.

exercise in the evening might be good.

I used to findschool so stressful, and recently university too that i would be 'wired'.

a pleasurable activity  which also uses energy can act as a detox.so maybe a walk or a bike ride , martial arts . .swimming is especially good if he can cope with the sensory issues of a swimming pool .

dancing to music . . something he could do with you too.

try to use your imagination and explore his pleasures.

as for turning lights off . . .in my opinion a potentially disastrous move.

try not to impose things on him. he is 11 and just because he is younger than you doesn't mean that he doesnt deserve respect and tolerance as a unique human being in the same way your husband or mother does.

He likely sees and feels the world and its challenges differently than you , and the majority , do. I never understood why people do things at certain times . . living by the clock rather than listening to the messages our bodies give us.

perhaps reconsider his room environment. what colours are there?

is it 'noisy'?

perhaps you could ask him if he would like to change it . . and follow his suggestions.

Is he eating gluten in his diet?

playing games in the evening rather than or as well as TV. and xBox

chess, tiddley winks whatever.

I would suggest the looking tired etc is as likely to be a result of stress as it is lack of sleep.

sometimes i sleep with the radio on quietly . . classical music only.

does he sleep alone? does he mind?

I recently bought a lamp from B&Q which has 3 bulbs on it which gently change from one colour to another in a random fashion. They aren't like disco lights, I hasten to add, much more subtle. We have found that sometimes putting this lamp on together with some soothing classical music can help as it fills our sleepless son's mind with something other than his overwhelming anxieties. Doesn't always work, but does enough for me to keep trying it.

Yeh, thanks from me too!  All very helpful.

thanks for that info - i will look into it and see how it helps....fingers crossed! :)

LizzyJ said:

I used to do a relaxation exercise with him, where he would lie in bed and I would ask him to think about his toes, then scrunch them up tight, hold for a few seconds and then relax. I would then ask him to repeat this with his foot and so on, working slowly up his body until he was scrunching up his forehead and then finishing with his whole body. I would then ask him to think about his breathing and I found that this was effective in encouraging him to relax. This exercise could be recorded, I suppose, for independent use.

Hello Lizzy.  You and other community members may be interested in the free podcasts downloadable from the Mental Health Foundation.  They have one that does exactly what you have set out here, talking you through progressive body relaxation.  You can download it free here:

http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/podcasts/wellbeing-sleep-full-works/?view=Standard

I have used this (I am an adult with ASD) as I experience sleep problems intermittently, and I have found it very useful to help me 'switch off' and fall asleep.  I keep it on my MP3 player by my bed so if I wake in the night and can't get back to sleep I can listen to it then, too.

My 10 year old son has Aspergers and ADHD and also has problems getting to sleep. Throughout the night we have to constantly reassure him that we are still close by and he will not sleep in his own bed.

He was prescribed melatonin by our paediatric consultant to no avail.-Apparently the brain already produces melatonin, thus this will only work for individuals who are defficient in this hormone.

In addition, or alternatively your School Nurse or Support Worker can refer you to a team called Sleep Solutions.

Sleep Solutions may also open the gateway to other useful resources. E.G. My son is being referrred to an O.T. for a sensory assessment, and Bereavement Counselling to cope with the recent losses of his Grandad & Uncle & to help him cope with his Grandma's illness.

Hello and hello again SarahR, I'm afraid it's me again! My 11 year old son used to find it difficult to fall asleep and stills does when he is feeling stressed. We have found several useful strategies, which can be time-consuming initially, but have been beneficial. We put a drop of lavender oil on a handkerchief inside his pillow - he now associates this with relaxation and asks for it if he can't sleep. I used to do a relaxation exercise with him, where he would lie in bed and I would ask him to think about his toes, then scrunch them up tight, hold for a few seconds and then relax. I would then ask him to repeat this with his foot and so on, working slowly up his body until he was scrunching up his forehead and then finishing with his whole body. I would then ask him to think about his breathing and I found that this was effective in encouraging him to relax. This exercise could be recorded, I suppose, for independent use. We also invented the 'good thoughts boat', which is a visualisation exercise. It was a way of getting him to put stressful thoughts to one side, but not to forget them, as that is not realistic. He would think about being on a boat and would choose a companion. It was usually his nana's dog, or his toy Pikachu. They would be on the deck of the boat in calm water and watch dolphins swimming next to them (his idea). His stressful thoughts were put overboard, not to disappear, but put to one side for a while, so that he could think about something nice. He responded very well to this and a 'boat trip' was a regular feature of bedtime for a while. This exercise is highly individual and needs to be relevant, understood and pleasant to the child. I got these ideas from yoga relaxation methods and they have worked well for us. They may be totally irrelevant to you, but I thought I would post them, just in case. I hope you all get a good night's sleep!

Thanks that is really useful to know.  Your clip reminded me so much of our son when he was younger.  He is not quite as active as that now but even at 9 still hurtles around, straight through doors as if they don't exist!  

Like you there have been times when we cannot keep our eyes open and can hear him up in the house in the middle of the night.  As you say, it is not safe and the anxiety becomes a vicious circle.  Less sleep added anxiety, more anxiety less sleep!  Lack of sleep is v.tough on everybody in the house.

We will definitely go down this road, at least while we are getting through this challenging time with the school and his anxiety is through the roof.

Many thanks for your post

My son Alex is 4 and has had problems sleeping for some time now. It would take 2 to 3 hours for him to get to sleep (from a bed time of 8 pm), and very often he would wake six hours later, full of energy and totally refreshed. He has very limited communication so reasoning with him just isn't an option. This was happening at least 4 days out of every 7. We got to our wits end (sleep deprivation is a common form of torture) and started to look for solutions on the internet. We read about melatonin and tried some. It dramatically reduced the time he took to settle down for bed, which made things better, but didn't really keep him asleep. We had an appointment at the local CDU which was six months on from his assessment and the Doctor was surprised the melatonin we had got off the internet had worked, but said there was nothing wrong with it and prescribed some for us. This has worked really well, again reducing the time he takes to get to sleep and is really effective at keeping him asleep. Now, the 6 hour sleeps are only about once a week, which is manageable. Melatonin is not a "drug", but a hormone which is naturally produced in the body. You can read much more about it on the internet. Personally, we felt totally comfortable giving our son this as it was getting to the point where our lack of sleep and inability to supervise him during the night was getting dangerous. We have not experienced any side effects. We also were prescribed a sedative by the paediatrician as he said it was best to switch things so he does not build up a resistance to either. The sedative is one they give to children with excema to help with scratching in the night. It too seems effective but takes longer to settle him down, about an hour compared with about 20 minutes for the melatonin.

Just as an example, here is Alex at 5 am, after being up since 2:30 am!

http://vimeo.com/21067899

Hi

We definitely share this problem.  Since last Summer my son does not settle well at all and has just turned 9.  He will be asleep at 10pm at the earliest and it has been midnight - with school the next day.  As you say, a number of nights like that build up and you have one irritable, sensitive boy that you just know is going to struggle through the day.

We have tried loads of things.  We know it is anxiety that is keepig him awake as it coincided with a new class in a new school with no support.  One of our more successful things was a hot water bottle with a white furry cover.  I did not think it would make much difference but it definitely helps. 

He is also a big reader, so I let him read but only with the light from the hall.  Sometimes he is desperate to finish the book rather than leave it half way.  He also has warm milk etc.  I saw somewhere a cool room is easier to get to sleep in than a warm one - expect you have all this well and truly covered though.

We are considering melatonin as recommended by the paedatrician last September.  We resisted initially, as like you I would rather avoid drugs but things are in a bad way just now and the lack of sleep is just making it worse. Do you have any experience of melatonin you can share?