Throughout my life I've often thought, "If only I didn't need to eat."

The same. I've always wanted a hatch in my tummy, like a pot-bellied stove, that I could just throw a lump of coal or firewood into occasionally. Never having to eat would make my life immeasurably easier.

It's not unusual that I go all day without eating, most often once I've exhausted what's in the larder, but sometimes even when there's plenty of food in the house. I'm also very insensitive to my body's signals that I'm hungry or thirsty, especially if I'm hyper-focused on a special interest. I pretty much accept it as normal to keep myself going for a couple of days of eating nothing (and likewise not having slept at all). I can also end up not eating simply to avoid any kind of human contact, especially when, as now, I'm sharing my living space.

Quite paradoxically, those times when I've not eaten or slept can be some of my most productive. It's almost as if having my brain running on empty means that it doesn't have the energy for the distracting tangential thoughts and rumination that I'm often plagued by, so that I find myself better able to concentrate on the one thing that I'm actually intending to get on with (the day after a sleepless night is often the day that I'll end up getting my household chores done, for example).

This has been a big bone of contention when I have requested help from the benefits system or social services. Yes, I know how to make sandwiches! Yes, I know how a microwave works! But even when my GP has pointed out concrete health problems related to my diet, they refuse to accept that not eating because of anxiety, poor executive functioning, and sensory insensitivity are just as impairing as being unable to perform the mechanics of feeding myself, or it is simply attributed to depression, whether I am truly depressed or not.

Trogluddite said:

Quite paradoxically, those times when I've not eaten or slept can be some of my most productive.

Yes! I know exactly what you mean. My theory is, when I am running on empty, adrenaline/cortisol acts as a substitute, which then heightens my brain function and enables hyper-attention and focus. Oftentimes, when I've been lying in bed all day and/or awake all night and not having eaten for 18+ hours, my brain will generate all these amazingly creative ideas and solutions to problems that have, up to that point, eluded me. I think the brain must function differently in starvation mode—more productively in our case.

I'm sorry you've had issues with the benefits system over this and have been denied support; I've looked into a bit and, from what I can tell, demonstrating a need to be "prompted" to prepare a meal, eat/drink, wash/dress etc. should qualify us for support in a similar way to someone who doesn't need prompting but cannot physically perform the task. As you say, it's a cognitive impairment rather than a physical one, but with a similarly dangerous physical impact if left unattended too long (i.e. chronic malnourishment and/or dehydration/starvation, and the attendant impact of that on the body's organs). It frustrates me as well how little understanding medical "professionals" have of the nuances of our condition, and really annoys me how arrogant they are and how reluctant they can be to apply common sense; it's as if, "if they haven't heard of it then it can't possibly be true". Grrr.

Thanks for your feedback, though; it's reassuring to know I'm not the only one.

Trogluddite said:

Quite paradoxically, those times when I've not eaten or slept can be some of my most productive.

Yes! I know exactly what you mean. My theory is, when I am running on empty, adrenaline/cortisol acts as a substitute, which then heightens my brain function and enables hyper-attention and focus. Oftentimes, when I've been lying in bed all day and/or awake all night and not having eaten for 18+ hours, my brain will generate all these amazingly creative ideas and solutions to problems that have, up to that point, eluded me. I think the brain must function differently in starvation mode—more productively in our case.

I'm sorry you've had issues with the benefits system over this and have been denied support; I've looked into a bit and, from what I can tell, demonstrating a need to be "prompted" to prepare a meal, eat/drink, wash/dress etc. should qualify us for support in a similar way to someone who doesn't need prompting but cannot physically perform the task. As you say, it's a cognitive impairment rather than a physical one, but with a similarly dangerous physical impact if left unattended too long (i.e. chronic malnourishment and/or dehydration/starvation, and the attendant impact of that on the body's organs). It frustrates me as well how little understanding medical "professionals" have of the nuances of our condition, and really annoys me how arrogant they are and how reluctant they can be to apply common sense; it's as if, "if they haven't heard of it then it can't possibly be true". Grrr.

Thanks for your feedback, though; it's reassuring to know I'm not the only one.