Throughout my life I've often thought, "If only I didn't need to eat."

Genome-wide association study of gastrointestinal disorders reinforces the link between the digestive tract and the nervous system https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/811737v1 Published this week.

There's a lot of research into the fact that babies are born half-finished - big enough to be self-sustaining but small enough to be physically born and a minimal drain on the mother's resources.     Depending on the mammal, there's a long period after birth where the body finishes off wiring up the brain (you can see babies randomly twitching which is sending signals down the nerves to see what is connected).     This period is crucial in how things get wired and interruptions in this process can really mess things up - like if a mouse paw is taped up so it can't move, when the wiring process is completed and the tape is removed, the mouse can never use that paw - it was left out of the internal wiring process because no useful signals were returned to the brain during the critical time.       This process works across the whole body - eyes must learn to see, legs must learn to move.    

Lots of things can go wrong and environmental stimulus is undoubtedly a large factor in how the finished baby turns out - with all it's bacterial loading too.

When I was researching a way to reduce the dosage of the anti-depressants I take, due to the increased frequency of the hallucinations I suffer from, that high dosages induce, I noticed that in some of the research papers they mentioned that an imbalance in the various neuro-transmitters can play a role in inflammation the GI tract. In particular, Gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA).

I now drink a cup of GABA fortified oolong tea daily. This has been remarkably successful in achieving the desired aim. It’s not as new age flakey as it sounds, the science is solid.

I don’t know enough about the GI tract to comment on the claims regarding its anti-inflammatory qualities. I do know there is an a and a b form of GABA which have different effects at the pre and post synaptic level.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6696076/

https://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/11/5/1076/htm

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5949344/

Recent research has shown that the gut brain connection uses at least three conduits: neurons, hormones, and immune factors. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/mood-microbe/201910/unending-fear-and-the-gut-brain-axis  Might be worth checking out.

There's a lot of research going on in this field in the treatment of UC and Crohns - as well as FMT - faecal micro-biotic transplants - where close family members 'donate' their similar gut bio and it gets 'transplanted'.   Think handstands & funnels.    Errrrm - yes.   

The worm thing has pros and cons - at the end of the day you're dealing with living parasites and things can get out of hand very easily if you make mistakes with handling and processes.

There's a school of thought that blames genetic micro-chemistry within cells and the accidental production of Hydrogen Peroxide within the membranes that upsets the cells and causes the white cells to arrive on the scene - and their additional imbalanced chemical production triggers a cascade-failure in the local area - which becomes a bleeding ulcer in the gut wall - which will then demand more white cells and so the failure gets out of control - and the gut is not a good place to have open wounds with all that bacterial action - so sepsis is almost immediate.

Most treatments revolve around shutting down the immune response - the worms do that locally as a natural way to not get flushed out - but most of the immunosuppressants are pretty nasty and their side effects often include sudden death syndrome and UV-triggered skin cancers. (20 mins of a typical UK summer is enough to trigger a  cancer).

I was on Cyclosporine a few years ago and with no immune system, I developed viral encephalitis - I had about a 10% survival chance - but I'm still here.

The only treatment I've ever had that worked was Extra Corporeal Leukocyte Apheresis which mechanically removes the white cells by running my blood through an external oil filter.  At £5000 per treatment, it's not widely available on the NHS

I don't blame you, but that's awful. I am sorry.

Apologies if you’ve already seen this.

https://www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/supplements-worms-stool-families-trying-game-gut-treat-autism-traits/

I have a formal complaint running with the local MH team.   They are doing everything possible to sweep it under the carpet.

You're welcome. 

Doctors who think they know better properly annoy me too! They've probably written in your notes somewhere that you're 'in denial' over your depression. Absolutely infuriating!

Thanks for the link - the nearest is about 20 miles from me.

The UC is a real pain - it's exactly the same as having terrible gastroenteritis every day for the rest of your life.   It's why all the shrinks keep telling me I'm depressed - they can't imagine a life like mine.

Oh, I definitely understand about "food is fuel". I wonder if it's something to do with not having cravings for certain types of food? I would often hear colleagues say things like, "Oh, I really fancy getting X for lunch today," or "Hm, I feel like a Y takeaway tonight," and I just never really feel like that. Maybe about tea, like  said, but very rarely about food.

I'm so sorry to hear about your UC, that must be incredibly wearying. I have a lot of intolerances, which prove quite restrictive (and maybe account for the lack of cravings?), but nothing even close to as bad as you, and at least I'm able to avoid things which cause me pain, nausea, vomiting so hard bile comes out my nose etc. Your repeat experience of steroids sounds awful too. Poor you. That must really get you down at times? 

Have you ever come across these burger restaurants?: https://handmadeburger.co.uk/

We used to enjoy eating at a place called Chalk Valley in Southampton, which did the most amazing burgers and was incredibly popular locally. Unfortunately, it decided to expand into a steak restaurant, and significantly reduced its burger selection, and subsequently went under in less than a year, but the Handmade Burger Co. has been a reasonable substitute, if not quite the same standard. On the plus side, they do have fairly dim lighting and squishy seats (rather than those horrible ones that dig into you), so sensory-wise it's an altogether more pleasant dining experience, which helps.

I would prefer not to have to eat - it's a function that just causes hassle for me.

My health is fritzy due to ulcerative colitis and so when I'm becoming ill, my appetite completely disappears.   I have no interest in food at all and I have to practically forced to eat by constant nagging,    During this time, I can only tolerate things like boiled eggs and chicken.     I also sleep a lot more so I miss meals.   

When I'm on high recovery-doses of steroids, I have an appetite where I could easily eat a horse - I'm constantly hungry and could pile on a lot of weight very quickly - I have to be vigilant about calorie intake.      When combined with the water-retention caused by the steroids and the massive weight loss when I'm ill (sometimes a stone per week), it's very difficult to work out what my correct weight should be as I yo-yo by more than +/-10kg.

I also have that typical Aspie trait of eating exactly the same thing every day - food is fuel - I rarely enjoy eating because of the immediate effects it has on my body - the nausea & cramping - similar to terrible sea-sickness.   Some foods trigger all sorts of issues within seconds.     

The only foods I actually like are a really good steak or a perfect burger - which is surprisingly hard to find.      Everything else is just fuel and is instantly forgettable.

Trogluddite said:

Quite paradoxically, those times when I've not eaten or slept can be some of my most productive.

Yes! I know exactly what you mean. My theory is, when I am running on empty, adrenaline/cortisol acts as a substitute, which then heightens my brain function and enables hyper-attention and focus. Oftentimes, when I've been lying in bed all day and/or awake all night and not having eaten for 18+ hours, my brain will generate all these amazingly creative ideas and solutions to problems that have, up to that point, eluded me. I think the brain must function differently in starvation mode—more productively in our case.

I'm sorry you've had issues with the benefits system over this and have been denied support; I've looked into a bit and, from what I can tell, demonstrating a need to be "prompted" to prepare a meal, eat/drink, wash/dress etc. should qualify us for support in a similar way to someone who doesn't need prompting but cannot physically perform the task. As you say, it's a cognitive impairment rather than a physical one, but with a similarly dangerous physical impact if left unattended too long (i.e. chronic malnourishment and/or dehydration/starvation, and the attendant impact of that on the body's organs). It frustrates me as well how little understanding medical "professionals" have of the nuances of our condition, and really annoys me how arrogant they are and how reluctant they can be to apply common sense; it's as if, "if they haven't heard of it then it can't possibly be true". Grrr.

Thanks for your feedback, though; it's reassuring to know I'm not the only one.

The same. I've always wanted a hatch in my tummy, like a pot-bellied stove, that I could just throw a lump of coal or firewood into occasionally. Never having to eat would make my life immeasurably easier.

It's not unusual that I go all day without eating, most often once I've exhausted what's in the larder, but sometimes even when there's plenty of food in the house. I'm also very insensitive to my body's signals that I'm hungry or thirsty, especially if I'm hyper-focused on a special interest. I pretty much accept it as normal to keep myself going for a couple of days of eating nothing (and likewise not having slept at all). I can also end up not eating simply to avoid any kind of human contact, especially when, as now, I'm sharing my living space.

Quite paradoxically, those times when I've not eaten or slept can be some of my most productive. It's almost as if having my brain running on empty means that it doesn't have the energy for the distracting tangential thoughts and rumination that I'm often plagued by, so that I find myself better able to concentrate on the one thing that I'm actually intending to get on with (the day after a sleepless night is often the day that I'll end up getting my household chores done, for example).

This has been a big bone of contention when I have requested help from the benefits system or social services. Yes, I know how to make sandwiches! Yes, I know how a microwave works! But even when my GP has pointed out concrete health problems related to my diet, they refuse to accept that not eating because of anxiety, poor executive functioning, and sensory insensitivity are just as impairing as being unable to perform the mechanics of feeding myself, or it is simply attributed to depression, whether I am truly depressed or not.

Yep, I think it's two sides of the same coin, like you say.

Jenny Butterfly said:

I sort of feel as though having a bum is an insult to my mind.      

Love this! So, er... poetic. 

Quick tip.

If you untie the knot in your belly button, your bum falls off.

I'm not like this about food (well, not as long as there are delicious curries, pizzas and an assortment of chillies to enjoy) but I certainly feel that way about going to the toilet.  I feel as though being tied to such things is a ridiculous limitation and, especially as a female with no handy tubing, just majorly inconvenient when out and about.  The "She-wee" isn't as good as I imagined on that score either. 

I also resent being a large mammal in many ways.  Lactation didn't fit in with what I wanted to do either, although it was pleasant and quite bonding during the time when i could just stay at home and focus on mothering.  Plus being hijacked by a sex drive and the "need" to procreate can be a burden at times, i think.  Are we simply the victims of our genes here?  What of this was my choice?        

But back to urination and defecation - why have these proceses been inflicted upon me?  I feed my "big brain" with all sorts of training, knowledge and experience, but still I have a bowel and an anus and constant traffic passing through.  I wonder how many times this'll happen over a lifetime and what percentage of life is used up by this.  I sort of feel as though having a bum is an insult to my mind.      

So...  wrong end of the alimentary canal, I know, but maybe similar feelings.  If only I didn't need to poo...

Unknown said:

I have always wished I could take one pill a day that would give me all the nourishment necessary. An implant every year would be even better.

Precisely! I feel vindicated, thank you.

I have always wished I could take one pill a day that would give me all the nourishment necessary. An implant every year would be even better. That way I could just keep reading, or whatever it is I’m doing.

I don’t experience hunger, I just start to slow or stop and know I should eat.

Tea drinking is another matter altogether.

Hey, thanks for weighing in. I do love a good share.

I think it just feels like an unnecessary distraction that boomerangs back every 4-6 hours, and probably has a lot to do with my value judgements on what is 'necessary' in the first place. Like you say, it's frustrating to be pulled away to tend to baser needs when you're in the zone.

For the longest time, I thought of my body as nothing more than a receptacle to carry my brain around in, but then my body kept packing up and getting in the way of my brain doing anything so I realised I needed to take some care of it. Maybe I'd just be happier as a brain in a jar? I do like hugs, though, so it's a tricky one.

Nessie x

P.S.Sausage rolls are yummy, especially when warm! When I worked as a Saturday assistant in a kitchen shop as a teenager, the owner would always send me to the bakery on the corner for warm sausage rolls and, lovely as they were, inside I'd be thinking, "But I really want to go and tidy the stock room."

Hi, 

I do get that feeling as well, especially if I'm engaged in something I enjoy doing, such as reading a book that interests me, or doing some creative writing. 

So I can understand why you feel that way. 

But equally I also love my food, and can get quite hangry if I haven't eaten in a while, so I'm a bit of a mystery in that respect. 

I do have certain foods which I favour over others, such as sausage rolls and macaroni cheese.

I don't know if this has been of any help to you, but I thought I'd share.