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NT spouse of ?Asperger's.

onmyown
over 11 years ago

Hi

A bit apprensive on here. First time.

No diagnosis but partner exhibits many traits of asperger's. I'm convinced. Can't talk to him about it, scared. He has a temper. I was naive and young when we married.

I'm lonely and want to leave. I can't. No way back. Can't deal with it. It's my life too.

Anyone else living this way?

Thanks

OMO

Parents
  • over 8 years ago

    Hi Recombinantsocks,

    Thank you for your support.

    I'm rather desperate about "the alternative is to find a way to have him realize that there is an alternative."  I like what you have written but am dumbfounded on how to get there.  He has stated that the means we came to in our marriage over the years to salvage it have broken.  He has placed it in my hands to come up with a new path.  I'm burnt out.  I'm angry and frustrated.  I'm not interested in coercing or pressuring him.  That does not work, period. He rebels against authority or being told what to do.   Could you please expand upon what clues or hints to plant?  Please.  

    What do "some autistic people do to not stay in that state and to see that things could be different?"  

    I don't want to feel that I carry the burden.  I want to nudge him to change direction.  I am at a loss to know what to do.  He turns down therapy, etc. and feels he need do nothing about his Asperger's.  However, because our marriage is falling apart (if I could leave today, I would), he may take strides to do something different that is out of his comfort zone.

    Please, please.  I need your help.

    Thank you.

    Artsy.

Reply
  • over 8 years ago

    Hi Recombinantsocks,

    Thank you for your support.

    I'm rather desperate about "the alternative is to find a way to have him realize that there is an alternative."  I like what you have written but am dumbfounded on how to get there.  He has stated that the means we came to in our marriage over the years to salvage it have broken.  He has placed it in my hands to come up with a new path.  I'm burnt out.  I'm angry and frustrated.  I'm not interested in coercing or pressuring him.  That does not work, period. He rebels against authority or being told what to do.   Could you please expand upon what clues or hints to plant?  Please.  

    What do "some autistic people do to not stay in that state and to see that things could be different?"  

    I don't want to feel that I carry the burden.  I want to nudge him to change direction.  I am at a loss to know what to do.  He turns down therapy, etc. and feels he need do nothing about his Asperger's.  However, because our marriage is falling apart (if I could leave today, I would), he may take strides to do something different that is out of his comfort zone.

    Please, please.  I need your help.

    Thank you.

    Artsy.

Children
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