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Worthless!

Whats-His-Face

I’m finding myself felling rather worthless today and that my existence is a pointless one!

i have no job and doubt I will get one, nor do I want one as I don’t function well it the work environment. 

I’m of no use at home due to my lack of motivation and procrastination I don’t do anything around the house to help, I don’t even help myself, eating or keeping on top of hygiene. 

I have no ‘special skills’ or any strengths that I’m aware of, there’s nothing I really excel at, nor do I have any special interests. The things that I’m ok at I can’t work at getting better at because of my perfectionism issues, if I’m not great at it straight away I get stressed and anxious and quit!

Just finding it very hard to see the point in being alive, but even if I wanted to commit suicide my lack of motivation wouldn’t allow, so there is a silver lining for being ‘lazy’. I know it’s not laziness but that’s how NT’s perceive it. 

Parents

  • I am worthless too. Despite having some special skills I got fired from 5-6 of seven programming jobs that I had. A collegue has given me once a parting advice saying that I must learn to tell people what they want to hear. So having special skills is not the way out of the worthlessness. Being a perfectionist does not go well with the managers, especially when you are good at spotting the problems. I will never be a culture fit, so there is no way out of my situation. So you are worthless without any special effort. I have worked hard for many years to get out of the worthlessness trap and I am back at the square 1. What was the point of all that? Some recruiters laugh at me and say I will never get a programming job again.

  • in reply to NAS63853

    You're not worthless either! Unfortunately, lots of people in the workplace have very little (or no) experience of autism, but anyone who penalises or laughs at you for being different is downright disrespectful and unprofessional. They're the ones with the problem, not you. Hopefully society will move forward and we'll have more understanding in the future.

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  • in reply to NAS63853

    You're not worthless either! Unfortunately, lots of people in the workplace have very little (or no) experience of autism, but anyone who penalises or laughs at you for being different is downright disrespectful and unprofessional. They're the ones with the problem, not you. Hopefully society will move forward and we'll have more understanding in the future.

Children