Worthless!

I’m finding myself felling rather worthless today and that my existence is a pointless one!

i have no job and doubt I will get one, nor do I want one as I don’t function well it the work environment. 

I’m of no use at home due to my lack of motivation and procrastination I don’t do anything around the house to help, I don’t even help myself, eating or keeping on top of hygiene. 

I have no ‘special skills’ or any strengths that I’m aware of, there’s nothing I really excel at, nor do I have any special interests. The things that I’m ok at I can’t work at getting better at because of my perfectionism issues, if I’m not great at it straight away I get stressed and anxious and quit!

Just finding it very hard to see the point in being alive, but even if I wanted to commit suicide my lack of motivation wouldn’t allow, so there is a silver lining for being ‘lazy’. I know it’s not laziness but that’s how NT’s perceive it. 

Parents
  • That is a word I call myself often too. Worthless. It's hard when your mind is like having the worst possible bully living with you.

    I know that lack of motivation makes all kinds of practical advice sound like crap. But I can't help it.

    Try to force yourself to care about the basics, like eating and showering. I know it's a pain, and I currently smell bad and I'm continuing to lose weight because I have no appetite and I mostly get nothing out of eating. But smelling like a hobo and being malnourished makes things worse. You know this rationally.

    Don't convince yourself that you have no special skills, maybe you have not found them yet.

    Don't let yourself think that you will never have any special interests.

    Don't make yourself think nothing can get better.

    If you need time to figure yourself out and work on ways to feel more capable, take the time.

    May I ask what it is you say you're okay at but have perfectionism issues with?

  • I’m putting on wait because when I do eventually eat, it’s late at night and I stuff my face with junk food. 

    Im 32 and as of yet haven’t found what I’m good at and find it hard to believe I will. 

    Also im ok at gaming and want to get gd at competitive gaming but can’t get through the learning stage, this applies to anything I try, I can’t accept that I’m not gonna be gd at it straight away and give up due to stress etc. 

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  • I’m putting on wait because when I do eventually eat, it’s late at night and I stuff my face with junk food. 

    Im 32 and as of yet haven’t found what I’m good at and find it hard to believe I will. 

    Also im ok at gaming and want to get gd at competitive gaming but can’t get through the learning stage, this applies to anything I try, I can’t accept that I’m not gonna be gd at it straight away and give up due to stress etc. 

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