My son who is approaching 13,started secondary school this year and cutting a long story short is now been put forward to be assessed for autism.
My husband and I have felt he is on the spectrum from a very early age but have had barriers to get him assessed ,it’s now more obvious now he is approaching his teens and moving to a school more aware of the traits of autism he was quickly put forward to be assessed
My concern at the moment is he is wetting the bed frequently,this has been an ongoing issue but we seemed to have a few months break from it.
It was bad when he started secondary school and settled after a couple of months and the times it’s happened in between has been when his anxiety is high.Now he is moving year groups and there is a lot of change I’m wondering if this is affecting him
Im feeling quite alone with it all as he is yet diagnosed and don’t want to attach everything to being on the spectrum so just thought I would ask if there is a possible link?
Could well be stress related. My advice from personal experience when I was young, is not to make to much of a deal about it. This will probably cause even more stress and anxiety and exacerbate the situation. And, don't get one of those buzzer jobs that wakes you up in the night and traumatises you for life. I'll never forget that... If I could have spoken to my parents about it when I was young, I would have said "I can't help it, please don't make a fuss about it".
School was a hellish time for me and there was a lot of stress and anxiety especially when you get to secondary school and there is more focus on the popular groups, acting tough and victimisation of those not fitting in, etc. Its a very cruel world for someone who doesn't fit in. I would suggest not focussing on the bed issues and focus on making him feel loved, try to focus life around positive things and things he enjoys, and if possible, although to be honest not very likely, try to get him to open up about what is on his mind, but again, keep things relaxed and don't make too much of a fuss about it, as this will make it even harder to talk and will increase anxiety.
Thanks so much for your insight as I have a phone call booked in for tomorrow with the doctor and I was going to ask about those alarm buzzer bed thingys but you insight has changed my minds ....instead for now I’ve made up two beds in his room and just told him when it happens just get changed and move into the clean bed and I will sorted the washing out in the morning .
The last thing I want is to add to his stress .
Secondary school is very isolating for him but his older brother is now getting him involved in out of school basket ball so That’s positive and he seems to be enjoying it and has his much older brother looking out for him
so all in all the Aim is is to relax about the bed wetting thing and now we have a system at night so we don’t have to change bed lined at 3 am!
And, regardless of the mega increase in stress with the buzzer, it didn't solve the problem for me. It just gradually stopped over time. I don't know whether it is just late development in control or is directly linked to stress, but thank you for re-considering the buzzer thing. I will never forget the sheer terror of waking up in the middle of the night to a really disturbing buzzer, and then everyone in the house waking up and making a big fuss which traumatised me. It is already embarrassing enough. I guess the idea is that it shocks you and somehow you then subconsciously associate wetting with being terrified and stressed so somehow you then stop. I don't get it and it didn't work, but I guess for them to still be peddling it, maybe it does work for some. Even then, I would say the stress it causes is not worth it. I am not saying your son will suffer as much as I did, but if he does, he will be better without it. Thank you from him...