Published on 12, July, 2020
Greetings anyone. Anyone who knows Me on here, may recall that I often say that although I am here, I know little about Social Media and The Internet. This Thread asks a simple question, and I hope for a simple(-ish) answer...
Please do not Quote or reference anything/anyone outside of this Thread, or else it might wind up being deleted!
I Myself sometimes "Shutdown" (I quit interaction when I can neither Reason nor 'Run away'.). But I have never to My memory had a "Meltdown", so I know less about that... I have read other Threads about it on here. ...But as I say, I have never connected the two together - Meltdown + While Using The Internet...??
I keep this OP short in hope again that it does not go off topic, much if at all. As usual, I offer apology in advance for any misunderstandings, and I try to present reasonable explanation for anything if possible... but I cannot do that if I know nothing about the subject, which is why I am asking this here. Try to Stay Well, anyone reading.
I don't know, from what I've read of other people's experiences meltdowns seem to be as varied as the people that have them. For that reason alone I'd guess its possible. My experience is almost entirely inward focused if they are proper meltdowns, I get extremely anxious and feel like I'm shrinking inside my head as if there is some kind of void between me and the world. If I can't get away from whatever situation caused it I start to feel every source of input overwhelming and suffer from very aggressive unwanted thoughts about how useless etc I am and how I should end it all. On the outside though there is not much sign of anything other than me getting quieter and distant unless the tears burst through. I probably could still use the Internet but it wouldn't occur to me to do so as I'll likely be trying to cut myself off for the world
This is what happens to me - I mask very well so I'm programmed not to show weakness so there's no external signs of meltdown - but there is so much turmoil happening inside mt head that I withdraw into myself.
If I'm at home, I have the tv on silent so I can watch it, I have youtube on the computer so I've got things to listen to and I surf the net all at the same time to try to drown out the self-destructive thoughts. Trying to overload the senses. I tend to jiggle like all of the muscles want to fight or flight but cannot decide a direction. I also tend to scratch myself (old excema programme) until I bleed. I find it impossible to communicate during all this. Too much brain noise to think clearly.