Dealing with relationship rejection when having Aspergers?

I have Aspergers Syndrome, and there is a particular person that I have a crush on, and want to ask out on a date. However, I could be wrong, but I’ve got a feeling that they don’t like me (in that way) back. I’ve avoided asking them out up until now, because I’m really afraid that if they reject me, it will trigger feelings of self-hatred, both in terms of my appearance and myself as a person, as due to having Aspergers, I haven’t always found fitting in easy, and I’m afraid that being rejected in a relationship sense will bring all of these feelings flooding back quite badly. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with relationship rejection with having Aspergers?

Parents Reply
  • Do you know what the friend zone is?

    It is perfectly possible being friends as part of a group of friends doing friendly activities and not being friendzoned.

    Friendzone in my mind is something subconscious and quite instinctive. It is really biology saying 'not my type'. But staying polite and not spoiling relationships.

    It is perfectly possible finding someone attractive and with potential while pretending being friends. 

    You do know girls can be so cruel. Especially when they copy and paste stuff with their friends online and laugh at men.

    An Aspie really should stay away as far as possible from girls like this. Nothing good would come out of this except feeling abused. 

    The key to any relationship , however tentative is to look for people who are 'good for you', compatible with you and your wellbeing.  Who will respect and protect you from abuse by others. You are looking for people who will like you for who you are in your natural self, with all your flaws.  People who will have the grace and intelligence to be patient and notice how wonderful you are, how smart you are, someone who can hold meaningful conversation on topic interesting to you. Because you can't stand meaningless conversations and conversations about topics not interesting to you. So asking out is an audition for the girl to be eligible to date with an aspie. Does she look through shallow perceptions and peer group stereotypes to see the intelligent, passionate, reliable and endearing aspie? Does she connect with your wibes? Can you communicate effortlessly? Does she try to put you at ease or is she pushing your red alert buttons? You will have your answer.

    Hint, hint

    a girl who likes you will be making excuses to be alone with you! Because they are comfortable.

    Very true, especially the bit about comfortable. If she start to behave in a way that puts you at ease when you approach, it's a good sign. She is already communicating.