Skip to main content
Close Button
Donate
  • Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 31 subscribers
  • Views 8026 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Dealing with relationship rejection when having Aspergers?

NAS62142
over 4 years ago

I have Aspergers Syndrome, and there is a particular person that I have a crush on, and want to ask out on a date. However, I could be wrong, but I’ve got a feeling that they don’t like me (in that way) back. I’ve avoided asking them out up until now, because I’m really afraid that if they reject me, it will trigger feelings of self-hatred, both in terms of my appearance and myself as a person, as due to having Aspergers, I haven’t always found fitting in easy, and I’m afraid that being rejected in a relationship sense will bring all of these feelings flooding back quite badly. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with relationship rejection with having Aspergers?

Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    Hi

    I have Asperger's too.

    I look at most things with logic and analysis - so apart from the abstract feeling of a crush, what do you know about this person?  Are they single?  Do they have similar interests as you?  Do you have similar interests as them?  Do they know you exist?  Is this purely a physical attraction thing?

    Also - like Schrodinger's Cat, the possibility of the relationship - or not - doesn't exist anywhere other than in your head until the second you ask the person out - then the decision becomes real.

    Until that second, you can fantasize about the other person, creating a false personality for them that works in your dreams - but may be very different from reality. 

    Fixating on one person but not acting upon it is really deluding yourself that you're in a relationship - and you may be wasting many opportunities to meet other people who may be more compatible with you.

    Being rejected by someone who you don't have a relationship with has nothing to do with self-hatred - it's about incompatibility.  I've met many people that I'm not compatible with - that's life - but I spend my time with those who fit better with me.

  • over 4 years ago in reply to Plastic
    Plastic said:
    Being rejected by someone who you don't have a relationship with has nothing to do with self-hatred - it's about incompatibility.  I've met many people that I'm not compatible with - that's life - but I spend my time with those who fit better with me.

    I think this is good advice!

Reply
  • over 4 years ago in reply to Plastic
    Plastic said:
    Being rejected by someone who you don't have a relationship with has nothing to do with self-hatred - it's about incompatibility.  I've met many people that I'm not compatible with - that's life - but I spend my time with those who fit better with me.

    I think this is good advice!

Children
No Data