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I think my girlfriend has Aspergers, how do I tell her?

billy123
I have recently been diagnosed with having aspergers and for some strange reason I have started obsessionally reading every website and ever book I can find haha!

The more I read about it, the more I see aspergers in my girlfriend:

No empathy
Hypersensivity to smells, tastes, textures and hates people sitting too close to her.
Dreadful social skills, she hasn't made a new friend for years.
Things have to be done her way or she can't stand it.
Takes everything people say incredibly literally.

The list goes on...

One of her brothers has been diagnosed as it's quite clear to see that her other brother and her dad also have it.

The problem is whenever I try to talk about any of the things that she does, she gets very defensive and upset and denies that she does any of these things.

What would be the best way to approach this with her???
Parents

  • Hi there!

    Thanks for the advice, I do completely see where you're coming from. I probably should have gone in to a bit more detail with my first post. I don't think she is coping very well with all of her traits.

    When things go wrong or if I do things that she doesn't agree with she just won't talk to me until it gets too much and she falls apart. Quite a lot of the time the things that I do wrong in her eyes are perfectly acceptable to other people it's just not how she would do things.

    We went to a pub recently and there were people there that she knew but hadn't spoken to for a long time, I went to get a drink but she pulled me back so she didn't have to be on her own with them. The anxiety just got too much for her.

    I just think that if I were to talk to her about it that it would help our relationship and help her to understand why she does things. Also I know this will sound selfish but I think it would help me if she understood why she is the way she is. I know it has certainly helped me to find out.

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  • Hi there!

    Thanks for the advice, I do completely see where you're coming from. I probably should have gone in to a bit more detail with my first post. I don't think she is coping very well with all of her traits.

    When things go wrong or if I do things that she doesn't agree with she just won't talk to me until it gets too much and she falls apart. Quite a lot of the time the things that I do wrong in her eyes are perfectly acceptable to other people it's just not how she would do things.

    We went to a pub recently and there were people there that she knew but hadn't spoken to for a long time, I went to get a drink but she pulled me back so she didn't have to be on her own with them. The anxiety just got too much for her.

    I just think that if I were to talk to her about it that it would help our relationship and help her to understand why she does things. Also I know this will sound selfish but I think it would help me if she understood why she is the way she is. I know it has certainly helped me to find out.

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