Last night I went to my school Xmas dance in a big, fancy hotel. I arrived earlier than my friends so I had to walk in and just drift around making small talk with people. I was friendly but people kept ignoring at me and pointing at me. I have never felt so embarrassed and lonely in my life. Everyone was getting photos together and there was me standing in a corner no one bothering to talk to me and me trying not to cry. I eventually left and went and found a chair to sit on and cried my eyes out - I just want to be normal. I thought I could go to that dance and be a normal teenage girl for one night but no. I eventually had to go home because I just couldn't stand it. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice? I am feeling awful today and just wanting to hide and never face my school again, but I have mock exams soon so I have to study but my mental health is really poor right now. I am also feeling slightly angry that no one thought to even just say hi to me or even ask to join them, which was the way I was raised. I try so hard but I just keep getting things wrong. I go to a very academic school and the pressure they put on me is insane. The teachers were all angry at me for leaving and I feel so awful for wasting my mums hard earned money on that stupid dance.
Sorry this was more of a rant!
Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated x
I can totally understand how you feel. I often encounter situations like this too. Large parties can be very difficult, especially when everyone already has their social groups, it's so hard to join in. I get ignored too and am often standing alone in these situations.
I think it's good to be in a very academic school though, because the focus will be more on academic stuff rather than social stuff. If the academic demands are less, there may be fewer classes and less homework, and other people may have more time to socialise even more frequently without you. And if you focus on academic stuff, which is what teachers in the school values, and if you can try to do well on it, I'm sure they will appreciate your academic performance.
I've also found that socialising can be improved with practice. I think it may be harder for us who are not born to be good at it. I don't like being different all the time either. There are some books aimed for people who have Aspergers, which might provide some explanations or guidelines of how people socialise. It might be an avenue worth exploring!
Good luck! I can understand how hard this all is, and I wish you all the best, and hope things will get better.