Anxiety, self-harm

I have issues with self-harm. My social worker says it a coping skill (just not a good one!) its a way of feeling like I have control over what happens to me when it feels like everything is sprialling out of control!

Thanks Guys you messages have helped me in a way to understand my son who is 16 & we have just found out that he self harms & waiting for an appointment with Mental health team. I will try to find the book for him & will suggest that he tries to meditate.

Thanks again

tho i dont have aspergers i have social problems so yes i understand that, very well :-( and my partner who has aspergers understands your stress in these situations he has never harmed himself like that, tho he has very rarely out of frustration accidentally hurt himself 

and yes when he's frustrated, angry, or stressed he sometimes doesn't have a lot of control over how it comes out, he tends to be more sarcastic or mean tho not emotional or upset

We try to limit his stress, tho it's not always possible obviously , and when it isnt possible thats when he tends to act frustrated, as most of the time he cal relax via computer games at home, but outside its a different thing

I honestly don't know how he copes, i ask him this all the time, only today i asked him again, how does he cope with all the noises and random things that we nt's dont notice, he says most of the time he can just seperate the noises, and was talking about how instead of listening he looks, and uses his sight which detracts from the hearing

If you are hurting yourself you need to try to find a way to let that frustration out that isnt hurting yourself, like listening to your fave songs, or playing your fave games, just taking whatever time you need to do what helps you get that out and feel better

If it's possible, you could try some medication, but i think its more helpful to also try to deal with the problem and find ways around it

Hello, welcome to the forums.

I'm the same; all the time. Even after I got my diagnosis it didn't really help, there are some things that take a very long to sort themselves out. In some ways my diagnosis was a "one step forward two steps back" kinda deal. Mainly because I always thought eventually things would click into place and I wouldn't get so swamped down in anxiety and depression. But then was the knowledge that the way I dealt with these things wouldn't be a neuro-typical way of dealing with them, and that was hard to digest. It does make it hard to cope. I find that surrounding myself with my comforts usually helps, like a good book collection, a few close friends who may not supply all the answers but will be willing to listen, music, things of that nature.

I found a particular book called anxiety and asperger's syndrome by Nick Dubin very useful as well. I find meditating usually helps if I get too wound up. The feelings you describe are very common. Were you also a late-diagnosis? I was diagnosed at 26. Still get really anxious and depressed on occasion, but I try talking things out, or writing them down now. When I was younger I went on a bit of self-destruct cycle.