Published on 12, July, 2020
Im 31 and have just been diagnosed with aspergers and I’m living with the in laws(saving for a mortgage). I’ve made the mistake of telling them of my diagnosis, I was explains to the mother in law about my lack of compassion and that I don’t consiously feel love(but obviously do as I’m still with my wife, care about her and got help so I could try and better myself for her) to which she replied if she knew this before we go married she wouldn’t of aloud it.
Well I told my wife straight after this happened, she text her dad who then got hold of the mom which resulted in everyone getting pissed off.
We were supposed to have sat down that evening to talk about it(of which I was dreading as you can prob understand) it never happened.
So I text mothe in law the next day to ask if we could just forget about as it was too much on an already full plate for my wife and to just be civil.
Well 3 days later, no one is speaking to each other, my insecurities are going haywire and I feel as isolated as ever, I haven’t felt like this since I went to do my gcse’s In a year of 500+ people of which not one spoke to or aknoleged me!
Anyway I just wanted to vent and any advice would be appreciated or just someone to talk to, to know I’m not alone would be very helpful. And if someone could by me a house that would help to lol.
Been there.. Every time, I make the mistake of talking to someone, opening up or making myself vulnerable in any way, I always end up being misunderstood, things getting blown out of proportion, no one being willing to have a civil, logical conversation, etc. Withdrawal has been my safe place since teenage. At 31 now, I haven't found any better or safer strategies. Occasionally I try lashing out as well. Not realy because I am angry. I am all equilibrium inside. I do that simply because I have seen that drama gets their attention. DO NOT CONSIDER THIS ADVISE. I'm in no position to advise anyone else on people skills. Lol. Just sharing my experience.. hoping to convey that you're not alone. On a different note, I'm certain that not feeling compassion is not an asperger's trait. If you don't feel it, I'm sure you can develop it. If you do and can't express it, well, that's you being an aspie. I don't know what to advise you. Maybe a couples counsellor can help. Wish everything gets ok with you. Remember. This too shall pass.
Every time I try to join in a conversation I either say the wrong thing or they block me out totally and then people wonder why I don’t join in.They think I’m sulking
Yep I know how that feels.