Published on 12, July, 2020
At the end of my academic semester a month ago now, I was nearly sexually assaulted by another autistic person who I was asked to help by our welfare department. This autistic person is much more autistic than I am so whilst I struggle to read some social signals, for example, he struggles a lot more. Whilst I appreciate that isn’t his fault, what he did to me was unacceptable.
We were just friends in my view and I explained that to him, however he wanted more. He wanted for us to be in a relationship and I made it very clear to him that it wasn’t going to happen as I’m already in one with someone else. He wouldn’t accept it so pushed me onto the bed and started trying to take off my clothes and his clothes. Before things got any further I said to this person “Get off me now and do not touch me or do that ever again! It is completely inappropriate what you have just done.” He then said, if you find that inappropriate how I touch your breasts, so I replied to him saying “Do not touch me anywhere on my body. I made it loud and clear to you we are not in a relationship and you’re not respecting boundaries.”
It was then suggested I went to tell welfare about what happened but all they said was we have to let him off because he’s seriously autistic even though this is in our view close to sexual assault. My friends think that I should report or do something as what happened is not acceptable and that the response of the welfare team is not good enough. Does anyone have any views?
The welfare team are deeply irresponsible. Not only to you but to him. Does the "severity" of his Autism hold rank over the assault on you, it shouldn't. That is prejudice basically. If you found it unacceptable and he didn't, it doesn't negate the fact that it happened.
They are also being irresposible to him. If he has no repercussions for his actions he will think that he will be able to do it again or even go further. He could end up doing worse. Also if he was to end up in prison he would end up in the numbers because of his condition with sex offenders who might give him more than a taste of sexual assualt himself or he could end up in a secure unit. It should be nipped in the bud now. He has to live with being an Autist, that can be a hard label, albiet one he can't help. However he could be called a nonce or a rapist too, they could help avoid this. Even more importantly they could avoid someone else being called a victim.
I think that by the language used he does have some awareness of what is appropriate.
NAS38298 said:He then said, if you find that inappropriate how I touch your breasts
By that statement he makes an implication of how he has a basic understanding of what sexual contact is, which parts of the body are considered "more sexual" than others and he also seems to understand how the boundaries of touching these places can make someone feel that it is inappropriate. I personally don't think he is as innocent as they make out. That's just me but that statement would be scrutinised in court.
I've said it before people can't help being Autistic but they can help being a ***. I'd take it further you might help him and you might save someone else further down the line.
All the best. I hope all ends up well for all involved, mostly yourself.