Published on 12, July, 2020
At the end of my academic semester a month ago now, I was nearly sexually assaulted by another autistic person who I was asked to help by our welfare department. This autistic person is much more autistic than I am so whilst I struggle to read some social signals, for example, he struggles a lot more. Whilst I appreciate that isn’t his fault, what he did to me was unacceptable.
We were just friends in my view and I explained that to him, however he wanted more. He wanted for us to be in a relationship and I made it very clear to him that it wasn’t going to happen as I’m already in one with someone else. He wouldn’t accept it so pushed me onto the bed and started trying to take off my clothes and his clothes. Before things got any further I said to this person “Get off me now and do not touch me or do that ever again! It is completely inappropriate what you have just done.” He then said, if you find that inappropriate how I touch your breasts, so I replied to him saying “Do not touch me anywhere on my body. I made it loud and clear to you we are not in a relationship and you’re not respecting boundaries.”
It was then suggested I went to tell welfare about what happened but all they said was we have to let him off because he’s seriously autistic even though this is in our view close to sexual assault. My friends think that I should report or do something as what happened is not acceptable and that the response of the welfare team is not good enough. Does anyone have any views?
I am very sorry you have had such a distressing experiencing. Trying to take your clothes off against your will is not acceptable behavior. The comment about touching your breasts comes across as though he knew his behavior was inappropriate but he didn't care.
If you feel that his behavior warrants speaking to the police about this then please do this asap. If you allow this man to get away with such behavior it may only get worse. It sounds like he has no respect for other's boundaries and this could be because he's behaved like this before and gotten away with it.
Going to the Head, as well as the wardens will be useful too. I work in HE and we had a student who started off saying inappropriate comments of a sexual nature to staff, he then started waiting for these staff to finish work and would try to follow them home. He initially received a warning from the head of his department but as his behavior continued he was asked to leave the university to protect the safety of those who worked there. The wardens may be able to keep a closer eye on this young man whilst you wait for the outcome of your complaint.
Have you considered complaining about the member of the welfare team? Their comments do seem to be inappropriate and perhaps their line manager isn't aware of how they responded? Sexual assaults, especially if they happen in halls, should have a strict reporting policy to follow and leaving you on your own to further report this at the university isn't usually part of the policy.
I'm sorry you've had such a ***** experience from your university.
I agree with everything that you have written (as well as everyone on this thread). I am going to report him tomorrow to the non-emergency police number and will mention the welfare staff to the head of academic staff when my friend and I go and complain about this at the uni tomorrow. I have just had a text from him now (I deleted his number but he clearly still has mine and it comes up on my phone with his name) saying that he hopes he will find a way one day as I get more attractive every time. What do I do with that text??