My mother left us today

nexus9 said:

I do feel a little paranoid occasionally

"It's not paranoia if they're really out to get you..." (!)

I do. Definitely.

I know. I do feel a little paranoid occasionally that family might have found its way here though I have not seen anything to indicate that so far. Otherwise I am more than happy to share

I hope at least you feel more accepted here x 

nexus9 said:

I do feel slightly uncomfortable

Then don't share. There is no law insisting that you must. Just because I ask a question does not necessarily mean I am entitled to any kind of answer. Sometimes, just thinking about a rhetorical question can prove helpful. 

For the funeral yes. I am mainly self employed and alas there the show must go on. I am really fed up with my colleagues at the school where I have had part time work though. No one talks to me. One saw a post of mine on media....completely ignored me at work. No great loss if I lose them next year, though with Brexit now, everything is forfeit again. Why did they do this to us. I am still so angry.

Are you able to take a couple of days out.. you’re quite entitled to it x

There is a cousin who has been supportive. She will be at the funeral. Things are winding down now though there are new students. The last few weeks have been exhausting, I am desperate for a holiday, a break. 

Take each stage as it comes and try not to snowball everything ... do you have support?...

remember to breathe and make moments to recentre x

Dad's Wishes were certainly clear. After he went there was to be lifelong care for mother, then everything is to be shared between us equally. A lot of things were used to cover Mum's care expenses. 

There will be one or two cousins there and other relatives. 

They might be ok. There was a row last summer over information I had shared with my brother's older daughter, who are estranged. 

I do feel slightly uncomfortable shark.g sell this, as one of my relatives has a son who is diagnosed and she way be posting here!

nexus9 said:

The funeral will be hideous, there will be decisions about what to do with the house

How much has been spelled out in her will?

Depending upon the answer there may be more or less than you expect with regard to decisions. 

Is there someone such as a neighbour or friend that can be at the house with you?

I will do. Right now I am still no utterly snowed down with work, some finishing soon but new ones starting. The funeral will be hideous, there will be decisions about what to do with the house where we grew up I think it will really hit  to go back there, with no parent there. Dad died in 2015. So much now is irrevocably gone. Not brother and his wife though. They are still there and there are still difficulties with them.

Deepest sympathy. 

Talk to us if it helps at this difficult time. 

Thank you ElephantInTheRoom. It really has not sunk in yet. 

nexus9 said:

Joining this group is already a part of processing grief, for what never got resolved, remained unfinished business.

There are always loose ends and business unfinished, discarded or not begun. I hope being here offers some solace and I hope you have people that you can lean on if necessary.

Thank you Cloudy Mountains

Condolences Nexus. My thoughts are with you.

Thank you ElephantInTheRoom. I gather it was peaceful, I hope there will be time to process and grieve. The show can have a horrible way of going on though. I think flying back for the funeral will be grim. Especially if there are any visits to their house. 

Joining this group is already a part of processing grief, for what never got resolved, remained unfinished business.

So sorry for you loss Nexus9, I hope her final journey was peaceful and you allow yourself time and space to process and grieve