Not Sure If I Belong Here

Hi, my name is mollie and I am sixteen years old.
I havn't had any type of diagnosis, or spoken to anyone about my suspicions, but I have researched aspergers and it may possibly explain why I am the way I am.

I dont fit any of the steriotypical features associated with aspergers but some of the less common ones, usually related to women, fit with me.

I hate new social situations and dont know how to act in most, although once I know the people I'm with I turn from painfully shy to loud and bossy and incredibally irritating. For years I thought I had a personality disorder as I act completly different with different people-almost uncontrollably, and get confused when two world meet. I now suspect this is me mimicking people without realizing.

I dont have any real set routines or 'quirks', I'm not super intelligent and I dont have any special interests. In fact I have an almost non-existent attention span.

Also, I know that people with aspergers are known to be un-sensitive to peoples feelings but I seem to be hypersensitive- the slightest feeling of annoyance from someone and I totally shut down. I have really bad mood swings too.

I dont know if this is relevant, and its embarrassing to say, but I have an entire world in my head. I know everything about the people there and I have to walk for at least an hour or two a day to indulge in this world. I have trouble sleeping because I cant turn this off.

I'm sorry for the length of this rant, but I dont want to tell anyone that I think I might be Aspie without proper reason, eg I dont want to waste the doctors time. Is it even neccesary to get an official diagnosis?

p.s, after another bad lot of depression I had councelling sessions which were pretty much a dead end, being told to 'combat negative thoughts' and set goals wasn't particually helpful to me, especially as one-to-one conversation with new people baffle me once we get past the 'hello's' and 'nice weather' bit. Will this bias my doctor?

Much thanks, Mollie :)

bluemollie over 13 years ago

Hope said:
I would speak to your GP or school nurse about getting a referral to a specialist Autism diagnostic centre. I would talk to your parents about it, too, and be open with them. They might have concerns themselves.

The main problem is that I hate going to the doctors at the best of times, but especially when I feel I might be wasting their time. Its not so much that I need extra help, (as I said before, any type of councelling baffles me), I get by fine enough, its more that it would be nice to know that there is a reason I cant seem to join all the dots like normal people.
Is a formal diagnosis strictly neccesary if I'm not going to get anything out of it apart from peace of mind?

It would also be useless explaining to my mother, we're not a fuss-making family, and as far as she's aware I'm just a little shy. We dont talk much.

Thanks for all the replies so far, I'm so grateful for your time
-mollie
Hope over 13 years ago

Hi Mollie,
As Stranger explains, not all people with AS have fixed routines: this is just one trait, which many people with AS do have, but not all do, and there are varying degrees for need of routine. I do like routine myself and like to plan ahead and know what is happening each day, but I do like trying new things, so long as I am in control.
Regarding special interests, your fantasy world in the head might meet the criteria of an obsessive interest from the way you describe it.
Presumably you must have read quite widely about AS and noticed that you share many of the traits, the most important of which, for a diagnosis, are the social areas: problems with social interaction and problems with communication (non-verbal for people with AS). You probably find it hard to know what to say to your peers, and have difficulties knowing the rules of friendship and how to fit into a group.
Hope over 13 years ago

I would speak to your GP or school nurse about getting a referral to a specialist Autism diagnostic centre. I would talk to your parents about it, too, and be open with them. They might have concerns themselves.
Scorpion0x17 over 13 years ago

ian poolton said:
im undiagnosed as well.ive had ulcerative colitis since aged 17(im 45 now).life has been very stressfull.ive always been looked at as vulnerable,taken advantage of and in the last 6 years since my mom died had panic attacks and freaked out with hallucinations.i changed my diet to low fat no sugar 4 years ago and have been bringing up lots of snot from my sinuses.in the last year ive had ear infections and one ear closed up(aspergillosis of the sinuses).since ive changed my diet im actually learning how to communicate with people and not a loner anymore.when i look back at my life its very scary why i did some of the things i did.ive had a permanent cough for two years coughing up snot and my ears feel greasy.nothing to do with caein or gluten its fat and sugar.if i could go back 30 years i would have changed my diet.for a long time ive only been able to breathe out one nostril.now im able to suck up water with my nose and it goes into my mouth.using nasal sprays as well(none steroid based).dont listen to doctors or hospitals theyre a waiste of time.if i had i would be dead now.lots of people with autism.i can see it in lots of people(varying degrees.lack of oxygen to the brain through the sinuses)
quoted for posterity
stranger over 13 years ago

bluemollie said:
I dont have any real set routines
I don't either. Whilst it's common with people on the spectrum, there's no written rule that says you must have set routines, etc.
Jim V - mod over 13 years ago

Hey Mollie, don't worry about the double post and welcome to the community :)
I've deleted the duplicate.
bluemollie over 13 years ago

I'm so sorry! Feel really stupid but I managed to post this twice and I cant un-do it. So sorry for screwing up the page. Feel free to delete it if you need to if your an administrator-person. Sorry everyone
-mollie