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do we tell our son he has ASD?

SarahR

Hi,

I have just joined as my son is coming up for 11, and after a long wait has been diagnosed with ASD (high functioning). While it's no surprise, I find it still leaves me wanting to know more and more, and what to do for the best.

The biggest question I have right now is do we tell him he has ASD, or leave it until he's older?

Parents

  • Oh no - he's going to hate the label!! But i'm going to try and get him to focus on the positives it brings for him, and encourage him to challenge the difficulties it causes him. be it trying to introduce himself to someone new, try and walk away from things that causes him distress (he isn't a classic case of flight or fight - he's very much fight then flight!). he tends to explode if he feels intimidated, lashes out then tries to run away (there are many stories!). Thankfully school is fantastic, and we have a risk reduction plan in place, which he also hates! He will also lash out if someone is on his little brothers case (aged 8). if he sees an injustice, he can't leave it, he has to correct everyone - very frustrating!

    My point is,  i think the fact that he will hate the label, may help him want to try things i suggest in order to help him, so he feels it will help 'disguise' it, making him feel more 'normal' (i hate that word, but you know what i mean!).

    i thought about how he's not going to like trying new things, so if i join him i think he'll feel like he's not alone. for example, i hate feet. so if i tell him i'll try touching someones feet if he will try talking to someone new, or going to a friends birthday party, it may encourage him. may not work...but it's worth a try! have you tried anything along these lines? and how does your son react when you suggest trying new things?

    thanks for taking the time to talk to me...getting the diagnosis is a relief, but i find i'm constantly finding new questions!

    take care :)

Reply

  • Oh no - he's going to hate the label!! But i'm going to try and get him to focus on the positives it brings for him, and encourage him to challenge the difficulties it causes him. be it trying to introduce himself to someone new, try and walk away from things that causes him distress (he isn't a classic case of flight or fight - he's very much fight then flight!). he tends to explode if he feels intimidated, lashes out then tries to run away (there are many stories!). Thankfully school is fantastic, and we have a risk reduction plan in place, which he also hates! He will also lash out if someone is on his little brothers case (aged 8). if he sees an injustice, he can't leave it, he has to correct everyone - very frustrating!

    My point is,  i think the fact that he will hate the label, may help him want to try things i suggest in order to help him, so he feels it will help 'disguise' it, making him feel more 'normal' (i hate that word, but you know what i mean!).

    i thought about how he's not going to like trying new things, so if i join him i think he'll feel like he's not alone. for example, i hate feet. so if i tell him i'll try touching someones feet if he will try talking to someone new, or going to a friends birthday party, it may encourage him. may not work...but it's worth a try! have you tried anything along these lines? and how does your son react when you suggest trying new things?

    thanks for taking the time to talk to me...getting the diagnosis is a relief, but i find i'm constantly finding new questions!

    take care :)

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