Published on 12, July, 2020
My only way to cope with my autism is to use dissociation. I only started getting this two years ago and as most of the research I did said that its over a stressful time I thought it was because of my mum getting a new job. But I have an under active thyroid and I then did more research and found out that the pills I was taking (levothyroxin) could cause dissociation. Recently over the Xmas break I have been out of routine and so have been forgetting to take my pill. Cos of this I have been having angry meltdowns increased anxiety and heavy mood swing which since taking the pill to dissociate out I haven't. I'm now back on them and have return to a more neurotypical person. With dissociation I feel like I'm in a dream and often can't remember or have no idea what people are really saying to me, to some the is a very bad mental illness but to me it makes me better and it is the only way for me to cope. What do you guys think should I get this checked out and stopped when I'm a better person with it ? Does anybody else have this I'm so confused and really need some answers? Love Lily xxxx
I didn't know. I have been/was doing it all the time. I did it on purpose, and I've 'woken up' while driving. My mind is elsewhere. My body is being operated by the mask. It's auto-pilot sometimes. I clearly have depersonaization/derealization disorder. i call it 'cinema mode,' and I use it all the time for problem solving, being creative, whatever. I go on auto-pilot. I could have a conversation while I'm spaced out. I've also come to the conclusion that masking IS multiple personality disorder, another dissociative. And I've had amnesia, another defensive dissociation. It's caused by trauma, but my third-person memories from 2nd grade are in cinema mode. I don't know what trauma I had up to that point beyond alienation.
It’s good to know I’m not the only human being living. My De realisation is a delusion, a feeling which does not respond to reason or personal mental struggle. I want to set up a 12-step group whose step 1 would say
1. we admitted we were powerless over dissociation/derealisation