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Work Problems

Raven

Hi,

I was wondering if anyone had some advice for this situation:

I have AS, I work with the public in a fast paced environment. A few weeks ago, something bad happened and I got investigated for what was a genuine mistake. Since then, nothing serious has come of it. However, I have made several mistakes, some quite small and others a little bigger. My superior thinks I may be trying too hard to make up for my past mistake. I think she is right. I have lost a bit of confidence and I have been trying to make sure I am doing the right thing, which isn't always.

Has anyone else been stuck with these problems? And does anyone have any good advice about being able to deal and move on? I don't usually make these types of mistakes and I am worried that I've stuck myself in a rut. I've been told just to draw a line and keep going. Something seems to be blocking, otherwise I'm simply having a run of bad luck, but I don't think that is likely.

Thank you for any advice that can be offered.

Parents

  • Make a distinction between confidence and self esteem. Self esteem is one's own estimation of one's worth, but it is boosted by others complimenting you and giving you evidence to confirm that self estimation.

    Trouble is people on the spectrum have trouble taking compliments. It might be that, as we cannot readily distinguish a genuine compliment from a sarcastic one we are always wary, but also I think there is a feeling of low self-esteem that says we don't deserve this compliment. You need to start convincing yourself you do.

    The fact your line manager is "putting a line under things" and encouraging you to "put it all behind you" and get on should be boosting your self esteem. Somehow you've got to find a way of accepting that and taking it to heart. But it is not easy.

    Confidence is another matter. That's very difficult to create. The AS thing is to build on negatives and negative reinforcement. I was encouraged (long long before I knew about my AS) to think daily about my positives and achievements, as a way of breaking free of anxiety spirals and negative reinforcement.

    But you also need some other areas of activity in which to do well - a sport if you are coordinated for it, or a computer games league, or something else with a competitive edge to it that will give you those little confidence boosting rewards regularly.

    If your confidence is down in one area eg work, then you need to work on raising it in other areas of your life.

    Not easy, but worth trying to do

Reply

  • Make a distinction between confidence and self esteem. Self esteem is one's own estimation of one's worth, but it is boosted by others complimenting you and giving you evidence to confirm that self estimation.

    Trouble is people on the spectrum have trouble taking compliments. It might be that, as we cannot readily distinguish a genuine compliment from a sarcastic one we are always wary, but also I think there is a feeling of low self-esteem that says we don't deserve this compliment. You need to start convincing yourself you do.

    The fact your line manager is "putting a line under things" and encouraging you to "put it all behind you" and get on should be boosting your self esteem. Somehow you've got to find a way of accepting that and taking it to heart. But it is not easy.

    Confidence is another matter. That's very difficult to create. The AS thing is to build on negatives and negative reinforcement. I was encouraged (long long before I knew about my AS) to think daily about my positives and achievements, as a way of breaking free of anxiety spirals and negative reinforcement.

    But you also need some other areas of activity in which to do well - a sport if you are coordinated for it, or a computer games league, or something else with a competitive edge to it that will give you those little confidence boosting rewards regularly.

    If your confidence is down in one area eg work, then you need to work on raising it in other areas of your life.

    Not easy, but worth trying to do

Children
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