Mental illness does not exist

ian poolton said:

this may sound really bizarre to say but ive always been looked at as

vulnerable all my life(but im not and can be agressive with a frequent bad
temper).had obsessions taking things apart and been a loner and not known how
to communicate with people(amongst a lot of other things).someone i knew with
a son who autism asked if id got it in 1996 but couldnt comprehend it.in the
last 4 years ive changed my diet to low fat no sugar and in the last year to
no fat no sugar and my sinuses have begun to drain and lots of stuff has been
coming out.my ears are full to the brim with wax and getting ear
infections.its recently felt like ive come from a none reality to reality and
its shocked me.im looking at the way ive lived and it seems very odd.not had
mental health much only taking an overdose six years ago after my died.i keep
on having to buy nasal sprays and ive brought a fistfull of this stuff
up.since then my tempers calmed but still feel like im choking on
something.ive always had swallowing problems and breathing problems and my
behaviour has been extreme.i seem to be able to see people through a new

perspective now and finding it difficult to deal with

Having read what you originally posted, Ian (in the email notification I received), I have to say that sounds more like coincidental than causal. At the most, it sounds like you've reduced your stress, and that's lead to a cessation of symptoms. This is a well known phenomenon with many conditions, not just ASDs or Mental Health disorders - reduce stress and symptoms also reduce - increase stress and symptoms will return. I, for example, am living a much less stressful life now than I was 3 and more years ago (the period leading up to my diagnosis with AS), and I know I'm much less 'Aspie' than I was back then - that doesn't make me think the diagnosis was wrong however, I'm just less stressed and so my 'Aspieness' is less obvious - it is still there though.

.

I'll probably get berated by the mods, or others, for saying this, but, AnneMargaret, your older brother is an idiot - as others have said he is probably under some stress as a side effect of your problems, but that is no reason to act that way (and you should not feel guilty for indirectly being the cause of that stress) - you are no more resposible for who you are, and the problems you have, than the moon is for causing the tides - it is simply your nature, and he should understand that and be supportive.

However, again as others have already said, it sounds like there is a degree of ignorance at play, but, though I know it can't be easy, try not to be angry with him, just as who you are is your nature, who he is is his, and, whilst he could, and should, change the way thinks and behaves, your being angry will not cause that to happen and will only hurt you in the long run.

I'm afraid it's just general ignorance when it comes to some families - they simply can't, or wholeheartedly refuse to understand.

I was diagnosed AS last month at the age of 50 - now that's a hell of a long time to be knowing that somethings not quite right, but you just can't put your finger on what it is that's different about you.  According to them, I was always the odd one in my family (even though I thought them quite weird from my perspective!!)

I told my Mother about the recent diagnosis and it just went completely over the top of her head and she went on to advise me not to tell anyone else as they won't understand either (my Brother already thinks I'm a waste of space anyway) I speak to her once or twice a week (she lives in England, I live in Scotland) and we havent discussed it since, but that's how my family function, ie, if we don't talk about it, it will go away and not exist. They have absolutely no concept of how hard it can be and how much I struggle to get by day to day. You can't choose your family, but you can make decisions about how much you let them in and if they are always hurting you, then perhaps it's easier not to let them in at all. Sad, I know...

Hi,

I am sorry to hear things are bad; before my diagnosis with AS, I was diagnosed at 17 with depression and anxiety. My parents found it very difficult to accept; there is alot of stigma surrounding mental illnesses. As far as most people are concerned, it doesn't exist if you can't see it. Even when I self-harmed, it wasn't clear to them and it didn't help. They just got scared because they couldn't figure out what had happened to their little girl. My brother also got really angry because apparently I had upset my cousin. I told him to keep his nose out of it. It is very easy to get upset and angry with our families when it seems like they don't understand us.

If you'll pardon me without really knowing the full situation, it seems from what you have said that your brother may have the same problem my parents did and still do; it seems to be a case of uneducated assumptions. I would agree with the above comments; if there is someone who is in your family or a close friend and they know what is going on, then they  could possibly interject and talk to your brother on your behalf. Getting reading materials, websites and case studies for him may also help. People with no experience of this and wool over their eyes will never understand fully what it is like; but if any of this can provide any sort of empathy and education, it will be worth it.

Please don't do anything to hurt yourself, if you need to talk just log on here and I'll reply. Good luck with this situation, if you need anything just write.

xx

Hello AnneMargaret,

I am really sorry to read of your difficulties.  And you are right - self-harm is often very understandable when it happens, but it doesn't help.

Your older brother, you say, does not believe in mental illness (or doctors).  He's not the only one - there are quite a few of them about though, fortunately, fewer than there used to be.  If those are really his beliefs, he is the one who is mistaken here, not you.

Or could this be a sibling/family thing, to some extent?  Brothers and sisters are not always the most supportive of people, full stop. And that is sometimes - but not always - because they are the ones who take a lot of flak(are given a hard time) over the behaviours which are seen to be a problem.

You asked a question which seemed a reasonable question to you, but your brother's wife didn't like it and maybe she had a 'go' at him because of it?

It doesn't make it your fault, even if that's true.  It does suggest that you are in circumstances around at least one member of the family which are not helpful to you.  Is there someone else you can talk to?  Do you belong to any support groups, or anything like that?

There's not very much that I can do, but I will certainly try to listen if there is more that you would like to say, to get off your chest.

Warmest best wishes to you