I cant cope anymore

We have had this story on another thread from you. Are you going to fill the whole forum with it?

So i’m not allowed to leave a comment because of some unspecified deadline? If the site let’s me post a comment then I am allowed to.

this topic is over 7 years old........

The system doesn’t understand us properly and never will. They act so shocked when an autistic person shoots up a school or a cinema but they never acknowledge the pain that would lead a law abiding member of society to commit such atrocious crimes. 

I was recently assaulted by a bouncer on my birthday. I wasn’t drunk, violent or loud. I was calm and collected but because he couldn’t understand me he dragged me out instead of asking for me to leave. The criminal justice act lists what he did as battery and even ABH because of my autism. But the police told me it was reasonable force because he tried talking to me first. He wanted to know why I wasn’t paying for admission as I calmly explained that I was waiting for my friend to pay for me.

The rule of thumb is that autistic people don’t matter, if you are too awkward to understand, you aren’t entitled to the same respect others are. You get treated like a naughty dog and get dragged outside with your civil rights being completely nutered. 

I have strong violent urges now because I cannot get what happened out of my head. He had no right to touch me, he shouldn’t have touched me, I had plenty of evidence and the law clearly says that what he did was an offence. But the police were on his side. The world is making it very clear that it’s them against us. When we want to just lead as normal a life as we can, we get harassed and patronised and harmed.

But when someone with autism retaliates and causes harm to the majority who oppress us or neglect us or speak about us as though we are things and not people and like we are void of any intelligence, that person with autism isn’t the victim but a criminal. 

If their own ignorance causes the harm then it is just deflection and scapegoating to blame the autistic person who carriis d out the shooting. “Oh it’s not our fault that we drove a minority completely insane by treating them like an animal or a drone and not a person” 

[Edited by Heather - Mod to remove swearing]

You should pursue the support you should get from your college. The quality of disability support and pastoral care varies unfortunately, but the only way to get change is to keep challenging colleges that fail in this.

There might be issues whether you have money from disability support or other sources to pay for services. But that should not mean that you get told that as they think you are doing fine they don't need to do anything for you. That sounds bad, and unprofessional.

Peer reactions where disability is concerned is something more difficult. They may well not be sympathetic. I have been quite astonished how unsupportive class groups can be towards someone with a disability, but this may arise from ignorance about the disability.

However equally they probably have a limited tolerance level towards anyone "going on" about their disability, so do be wary of this.

A parallel is the mature student phenomenon. Mature students who do well in relating to their peer groups are the ones who "muck in" and try to bridge the gap in age. Those that act their age and difference, or talk about when they were young, tend to get ignored. That reaction is understandable.

While it might seem unfair, and unsympathetic, it ptrobably pays not to remind peers of your difference.

I appreciate that sounds harsh in the context of the experiences of many people on the spectrum, but it does seem to be the practical reality.

Hi, we do have a support team at college, but they dont help, they cancelled my help becuase they thought i was doing fine, and they wont take me back untill i fall behind on my work. And one of my friends has split personalitys, she isnt very nice, and she is really controlling, i try to get in contcat with them but the just dont want to know, the only friend i have that i see is my boyfriend, and i have been with him for 4 years. 

Korrine x

Hi Korrine

I am so sad to read your comment. You must be finding life very hard at the moment. You said that you are at college. Do you have a Pastoral team at the college? They would be able to help you. They would certainly listen! Your friends, I am sure, are not ignoring you - they don't understand.

I would start by finding your Pastoral Support team in the college. You need someone to talk to face to face who can help.

Best of luck

Fran