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Body language/facial expressions

ladynicotine

This may seem a little random.  I've been reading some material about body language, in the hopes that I might be able to improve my reading of other peoples body language - something I feel I'm very bad at.  Everything I've read seems to be assuming that you're capable of reading your own body language - for instance knowing what expression is on your own face without looking in a mirror. 

I can't.

I mentioned this to the person who is supposed to provide me with advice & her only response was "most people can".  She also said that she'd never heard of anyone not being able to read their own body language, & that was the end of the discussion.

I can't seem to find anything anywhere relating to this issue - am I really the only person in the whole world who can't do this?  Will I ever be able to do anything about it?

Parents

  • In this situation I can usually get away with "fine thanks, & yourself?"  I think it's just a "placeholder" sort of question, used to give people's mouths something socially acceptable to do while their brain is doing something more interesting!

  • in reply to ladynicotine

    Yes, I also get away with ''Fine, thanks'' but that is not a natural answer. I use this answer just to answer something. However, sometimes, I feel bad but I still feel that the expected answer is ''Fine, OK''.

    I do not like when people ask ''How are you?'' as never know what to answer. I do not ask this question. I think that people think that I am rude, selfish or do not care about others. That is not true as most of the time I try my best to help someone but I do not really know what to do with the answers to the ''How are you?'' question. I do not know what I am expected to do.

  • in reply to California

    California said:

    Yes, I also get away with ''Fine, thanks'' but that is not a natural answer. I use this answer just to answer something. However, sometimes, I feel bad but I still feel that the expected answer is ''Fine, OK''.

    I do not like when people ask ''How are you?'' as never know what to answer. I do not ask this question. I think that people think that I am rude, selfish or do not care about others. That is not true as most of the time I try my best to help someone but I do not really know what to do with the answers to the ''How are you?'' question. I do not know what I am expected to do.

    Sometimes, to bring a bit of fun in, which so does not work on every occasion, but, when people ask me,

    "How are you?"

    I say,

    "Well ~ my mother and father met and the rest has been history so far!"

    On other occasions when people ask me if I am alright, I say,

    "I am half left or otherwise I would topple over!"

    Seriously though, you are just supposed to report that you are OK, fine or alright, no matter whether it is true or not, and then if you are or not the inquirer can decide on this as to whether to ask anything more about you.

    A lot of the time it is just pure unfettered social ritual, and as such it is more really just saying repeatedly spoken lines in the theatrical sense. 

    There is book called the GAMES PEOPLE PLAY by ERIC BERNE M.D., and explains all the rules involved with social ritual regarding communication.

Reply
  • in reply to California

    California said:

    Yes, I also get away with ''Fine, thanks'' but that is not a natural answer. I use this answer just to answer something. However, sometimes, I feel bad but I still feel that the expected answer is ''Fine, OK''.

    I do not like when people ask ''How are you?'' as never know what to answer. I do not ask this question. I think that people think that I am rude, selfish or do not care about others. That is not true as most of the time I try my best to help someone but I do not really know what to do with the answers to the ''How are you?'' question. I do not know what I am expected to do.

    Sometimes, to bring a bit of fun in, which so does not work on every occasion, but, when people ask me,

    "How are you?"

    I say,

    "Well ~ my mother and father met and the rest has been history so far!"

    On other occasions when people ask me if I am alright, I say,

    "I am half left or otherwise I would topple over!"

    Seriously though, you are just supposed to report that you are OK, fine or alright, no matter whether it is true or not, and then if you are or not the inquirer can decide on this as to whether to ask anything more about you.

    A lot of the time it is just pure unfettered social ritual, and as such it is more really just saying repeatedly spoken lines in the theatrical sense. 

    There is book called the GAMES PEOPLE PLAY by ERIC BERNE M.D., and explains all the rules involved with social ritual regarding communication.

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