What keeps you fighting?

Somehow the things that keep me fighting aren't the things that keep me going, often quite the opposite... It's rather one of the silly Aspie traits I've got, to keep fighting when others have the capacity to decide to simply not care. If they care first but figure out it's pointless others can just decide to leave things alone, I keep fighting, no matter what, and then get punished for it. And if I'm forced not to fight or try to stop myself then I fight myself and that isn't pretty either, quite literally. Wished I wasn't like that, it's probably the biggest trouble maker that trait.

In a way to keep going is an Aspie trait too, I've got a lot of motivation coming from within, only for things I like, but there are plenty of those. Apparently this is quite common and I'd say it's one of the better things about Asperger's.

Still trying to figure out what gets me out of low patches, they don't have to be deep at all for me to fall in and be so overwhelmed that it seems impossible to ever climb out again, and then I react in ways that get me even deeper down. Think I rely too much on others there, and often when others try to be nice I find it difficult to accept it, that must be quite frustrating (for all involved including myself). Like someone wanted to give me a hug because I was very upset and I wanted nothing more than a hug, so I shouted at her to leave me alone... Guess being able to help someone else in some way is one of the few things that really help me quite reliably, maybe because I feel worthless when things aren't going well and seeing that someone did actually benefit from me helps to feel a bit better about myself.

Will keep reading a bit here, perhaps there's something I can give a try too - thanks for opening that thread and for all the answers!

Somehow the things that keep me fighting aren't the things that keep me going, often quite the opposite... It's rather one of the silly Aspie traits I've got, to keep fighting when others have the capacity to decide to simply not care. If they care first but figure out it's pointless others can just decide to leave things alone, I keep fighting, no matter what, and then get punished for it. And if I'm forced not to fight or try to stop myself then I fight myself and that isn't pretty either, quite literally. Wished I wasn't like that, it's probably the biggest trouble maker that trait.

In a way to keep going is an Aspie trait too, I've got a lot of motivation coming from within, only for things I like, but there are plenty of those. Apparently this is quite common and I'd say it's one of the better things about Asperger's.

Still trying to figure out what gets me out of low patches, they don't have to be deep at all for me to fall in and be so overwhelmed that it seems impossible to ever climb out again, and then I react in ways that get me even deeper down. Think I rely too much on others there, and often when others try to be nice I find it difficult to accept it, that must be quite frustrating (for all involved including myself). Like someone wanted to give me a hug because I was very upset and I wanted nothing more than a hug, so I shouted at her to leave me alone... Guess being able to help someone else in some way is one of the few things that really help me quite reliably, maybe because I feel worthless when things aren't going well and seeing that someone did actually benefit from me helps to feel a bit better about myself.

Will keep reading a bit here, perhaps there's something I can give a try too - thanks for opening that thread and for all the answers!

oktanol said:

Somehow the things that keep me fighting aren't the things that keep me going, often quite the opposite... It's rather one of the silly Aspie traits I've got, to keep fighting when others have the capacity to decide to simply not care. If they care first but figure out it's pointless others can just decide to leave things alone, I keep fighting, no matter what, and then get punished for it. And if I'm forced not to fight or try to stop myself then I fight myself and that isn't pretty either, quite literally. Wished I wasn't like that, it's probably the biggest trouble maker that trait.

Woah....that resonated....hit the nail on the head there! ,, I particularly liked the distinction between what keeps you fighting and what keeps you going....

what has been eye opening being part of this community is that you also start to notice everyone else's biorythmns...their down days, up days.....times of the day when they are energised...or drained and bewildered....has any one else noticed that?