Help! Are there any women in this Community with ASD

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pp8jcQ97pY This is good.. an easy teaching session but if you scroll underneath you'll see he covers different topics in this way

The ones I posted for example. I sort of do a YouTube google or internet searches on aspects that interest me and it's surprising how many there are. There is loads of stuff on Autism but earlier on in my research I found it hard to find things which were about adult women which is what I needed( on autism, asd, adhd and even dyspraxia dcd). A young woman is ambassador for dyspraxia. I had never seen anyone talking about it. She's great. She talks about things I find really embarrassing and makes it ok. Some are seminars, some based on power point, some are blogs .. all sorts 

Sorry Facebook is not for me I'm a bit of a fossil. Out of interest how did you get 18? Did you count them or is there a way to tell? 

I'm good thanks, just found this one from earlier. I discovered this time last year that although my periods were light and regular I didn't seem to be ovulating! Tried for one last baby....nothing happening! Moved into new home, got married, first time we all lived together, chaotic, lots of change, felt like I was having a breakdown. Also had a period when I thought I was depressed. Some of the behaviours I was expressing were extreme, like stuff I experienced during puberty, I've been on the pill for years so not had much hormonal experience....now taking my pill all the time, no periods, feel more stabilised. I haven't read much on the subject, but will feedback on anything I do find. One of the books I have reserved is pretty recent and the blurb looks good! 

ok so we have 18 subscribers here, my thinking is we set up a private Facebook group, that will make it easy to follow threads, ask questions and have a reading list in files. I am Happy to set it up aslong as there are enough people wanting to use it as a resource. I just think it would be easier to chat, support and ask questions on Facebook in a group as this thread is getting longer and longer. 

What sort of YouTube videos did you find helpful Misfit 61?

Ps. The YouTube videos help me to feel like I'm not quite so nuts and know I'm not alone when there is no one else. I know I am still learning and not yet found ways to sort out my life but getting the diagnosis did stop that niggle and at last instinctively some sort of peace. Google is great. 

I know just how it feels, I'm feeling pretty isolated at times, my husband thinks asd is an excuse. We are talking things through, I'm trying to explain what it's like. Thing is before he came along when I lived with my sons it's not an issue. It only became an issue in living with him. He's very nt. We do love each other though so will continue to work it out. 

Sorry for what? Some people are lucky and some of us not so in the openness to this.  I know how it feels to want to share with people you love and be ignored or rejected or dismissed or disbelieve d or told it must be mild or lots of people have it . It hurts. I don't know why they react like that. I live on my own but I have experienced the loneliness when with others just as I have at home by myself. I hope you have friends and people who you can share this searching with. I hope these posts of ours are giving you some sort of support 

Sorry 

Dear Misfit

you say a million profound and articulate things and then apologise for saying them. Maybe I have focused so much on ASD kids is a sub-conscientious identification with them.

what has struck me is what if you don't...

"....have support from spouses, family, friends and colleagues then you probably won't feel the need to do anything about it, if indeed you recognise any difference. ...."

sad today as asked my husband to give me sone time to explain to him who I am and where "I'm at...."....but before I started, he fell asleep.... he is now upstairs catching up with his friends and family on the phone...

Yet more isolated and back to the books and research.....when in doubt...google it, eh! :( 

Hello again. Yes we had a nice walk thanks then got hooked on family trees.. always something to research! It's been highlighted quite a lot that those parents getting diagnosis for their offspring seem to get a lightbulb moment and recognise they need an assessment themselves. That seems to be a time when some adults notice things. If you have keen parents and aware teachers then some children are assessed through school or college years. Though girls still get missed. Another time is when the time has come for you to balance self, home, chores, friendships, exercise and work all at once. Many of my age grew up not knowing about these conditions and only filtered slowly through as something boys had. And like Malabar I had an extensive history of depression, break downs and anxiety before I thought about any of this; sadly far too common. It's been said that many more people have these different brains but if you manage to adapt, find strategies to cope and have support from spouses, family, friends and colleagues then you probably won't feel the need to do anything about it, if indeed you recognise any difference. It's usually those of us who haven't managed to do this and  significantly affects our lives that we need to find out why. Then we want to absorb information like a sponge.. I don't know the answer to the break it all down to see what to do with it and past history issue. Sometimes I think yes sometimes no but for me the overlap can be very contradictory and I end up on the fence. In terms of the classroom I think it would be quite helpful. Or at least look at strategies to help like a time out zone, or a work station cubicle, or chance to either curl up on a bean bag or a circuit round the playground depending on age. Not easy in that setting especially if several students need attention in this way. And.. the more I read and listen the more it's clear we do have commonalities but when you consider the elements of asd sensory, social communication and social imagination we are bound to be very individual too. Hope this essay isn't too much!! Prob should edit and delete. 

Good to hear from you....

my gosh...you do live a full-on existence....my view is that you are never given in life more than you can cope with..but someone out there certainly likes to push it! - lol

From reading there seems to be spikes of age of diagnosis at teenage years and middle age.....could be those pesky hormones elevating and making more pronounced the austism....and these also seem peaks of time in self reflection (though self reflection and self criticism seem an everyday affair with ASD) - so might have just completely contradicted myself......maybe we are just in more distress at these times...

i am certainly more stressed by noise, need more personal space and take longer to enforce relaxation when it's "shark week"....my husband would have his own phraseology!!!

how are you?

DSM-5 finally acknowledged there could be dual ASD/ADHD. We are fairly certain SD16 is dual, but with her mother opposing medication it's been easier to get the ASD diagnosed and hopefully get the ADHD done when she's older. Her sister SD20 has ADHD and her response to meds has been amazing.

My SO has ADHD and his psychologist screened him for ASD but he didn't meet threshold by quite a margin. She thinks (and I agree) his quirks are a lot to do with a pretty grim childhood and 18 years marriage to an abusive partner. Early when we got together we had to deal with lots of things like him going into "freeze" in intimacy if he was triggered, but with use of safe words and heavy duty respect of boundaries he's come a long way.

It's complicated, and I'm observing both girls for hormonal patterns too. Now my GP and I gave levelled my hormones out using the Pill continuously, it makes me realize my DCD had a major blip around the "shark week". I did a Pill break for the first time in 2.5 years a couple of months ago and it was so bad I'm not trying that again until it's a fair to reasonable chance I'm menopausal!!!!

It is a tricky one...I have this with the ASD, ADD, and ADHD students that I teach....what is their personality (the individual), puberty and the condition(s) itself.....I.e in terms of classroom and behaviour management....identifying what camp a certain behaviour or response is coming from in order to deal with it best.....is it wrong to dissect it that way....or should you just take on the whole?

i am, as I mentioned previously...being trying to dissect myself.....looking back where decisions, choices, behaviours purely down to ASD or my own? 

enjoy your walk!

Morning Everyone My sister is back up for the school holidays so she's just taking me out for a walk but will be back later. I definitely had a rough time with hormones at puberty (10!) and earlish menopause and all the way between.  I haven't read too much on the asd side of this but definitely quite a bit about it in adult women's adhd. There is quite an argument about whether you can have asd and adhd at the same time and how much they are connected. Then again overlapping with the other neurdiverse conditions but as with anything there are overlaps and opposites. Again the information on adult women is fairly new so you have to look for it. Got to go be back later. 

Morning Welly

i agree that the thread is confusing...and be good to get some feedback from others about a Facebook group.

let me know how you get on with the books...we need to set up a recommended reading list? Been meaning to find out if  there are any good, top level booklets for family/friends/work colleagues etc ...a short but succinct overview and explaination of ASD that they would be able to understand.. I.e this is me, this is what I find difficult, this is what makes me awesome, this is how you can help...

here's curveball....

Have you read much about ASD women and hormones..??..we are pretty much of similar age and am curious how the hormonal side of things also works with/against the ASD....

https://musingsofanaspie.com/tag/menopause/

The above article suggests that the hormonal shift that occurs during the peri menopausal time can reveal those ASD traits more clearly....maybe the same could be said at puberty as welll.....both challenging times...

thoughts?

good to hear from you by the way

Morning! I too am using the top reply button, so much has been added to the thread. It's refreshing to see so many of us in one place but I'd like to see us in some kind of private Facebook group where I think it would be easier to follow stuff. I reserved 2 library books yesterday that may turn out to be interesting, one is 2017, An Adult With An Autism Diagnosis, and the other is Women and Girls With ASD, 2015, Sarah Hendricks. 

Hi Spotty,

i have just found your buried post and glad I did....ASD really is a cruel thing....the curve ball of aiming for perfection, acceptance and belonging...but terrified of everything, scared of getting it wrong...,and not being able to be understood....

loneliness and self inflicted isolation and withdrawal from the world seem common themes.  All of this reading we're doing....what are we trying to find in those pages...,validation, the rule book, reassurance that things will get better....

is it us that should be reading or just the non-ASD community?..

Morning early bird! I take it that you're in the camp of having been referred but are yet to be assessed and diagnosed?