Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I'm 38 and following chatting to a friend recently diagnosed with high functioning autism and doing a lot of research I'm reasonably sure I have aspergers. I'm in two minds about actually seeking a diagnosis but that's probably another discussion altogether.
One big issue I've had for a number of years is bad reaction to noise caused by other people, although in specific circumstances. The usual thing is if I perceive it as someone being unreasonable (linking to the known issues with people 'not playing by the rules') so even if it's not very loud it can cause problems. This has led to quite violent reactions and sometimes I don't always remember the entire episode, I'm guessing it's effectively a meltdown but I experience extreme anger towards the source of the noise. A classic example would be neighbours playing loud music, even if it's a few doors down the road having a bbq at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon.
I'm due to be seeing a psychiatrist soon to have an assessment related to these specific issues (so not specifically for anything asd although I have mentioned I think I may be on the spectrum).
I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced similar issues and if so if they found a way to cope. I've had brief sessions of cbt over the phone before but it didn't help. It was all based around me being the issue not the people being noisy and the problem is because I believe it's the other people being unreasonable so it went agianst what I believe.
I understand where you're coming from totally. I find noises very difficult, even 'daily' noises, such as someone eating. My anger flares incredibly even though I know it's an unreasonable reaction. I've learnt to cope with this over the years by taking myself out of the situation, going somewhere quieter, and putting my headphones on to listen to a calming radio programme. I also carry ear plugs with me. You can get disposable ones in the travel section really cheaply. I carry these everywhere with me. Unfortunately we can't always control other people's actions, but we can control out own to an extent - when you recognise you're about to explode with anger, take yourself away from the situation.
When I was younger I had outbursts and couldn't remember what I'd said/done, just as you described, but now, 9 times out of 10 I can stave off these outbursts by using the things mentioned above. It's still worth talking this over with your psychiatrist, but be proactive and take what control you can in the situation.
Hope this helps a little :)