• Replies 8 replies
  • Subscribers 80 subscribers
  • Views 5335 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

What Did I Do Wrong?

Eryberrie

Hi everyone,

It's been almost 17 years since this incident and I still think of it often. I still don't know what I did wrong and if anyone could enlighten me, please do.

I was 16, had left school and was going to college to do a diploma.  Although the diploma was about health, part of the diploma required us to do numeracy and literacy.  The first two sessions of these subjects involved each member of the group (exacly 20 young women) doing an assessment just to see what stage we were at.

The assessments were really easy.  Not even SAT level.  About two thirds of the group found it easy, some found it a little hard.  However, there was one member ("T") who found it extremely hard.  

The first week, we did the literacy assessment and T was very vocal about her struggles with it.  She didn't say if she was dyslexic or anything but she complained throughout the hour we had to complete the paper.  

The next week, we did the numeracy assessment.  This time, T was VERY vocal about her struggles and was even more vocal.  In the middle of the assessment, I pointed out that T struggled the previous week and is now struggling with the current week.

Both T and the other girls ripped into me for saying that.  I stated a fact and T herself was very clear about her struggles so I failed to see what I did wrong in repeating it.  The next day, I was forced to apologise to T in the presence of our tutor.  

I didn't mean any harm and I was just saying what was true - please could anyone let me know as to why my repetition of what T said was inappropriate?

Parents

  • That's very interesting, Ferret, though in my case (and at the risk of hijacking the thread) I feel there must be other issues, as often there is no problem for me to resolve when the replay begins.  Maybe it's a quest for perfection - and that creates the problem.  Even when I do something well, I can't help thinking of perhaps better outcomes if I'd done it differently.  In other words, I'm adding hypothetical data.

    But sometimes there's already too much data.  I find it increasingly difficult to make decisions, even about low value purchases.  Internet shopping offers so many variables - different brands of the same products, which are superficially similar, at different prices from different vendors.

    I've become a very restrained consumer (some months my credit card bill is under £5!)  And that restraint is largely because I find the range of products and prices so exhausting to process that in the end I'm totally deterred and buy nothing.  But even necessities do not escape complexity. Take domestic fuel supply; when I was young, one simply had a contract with the gas or electricity board and there was basically only one tariff.  There was nothing to think about.  Now there's a huge number of suppliers, each with a range of tariffs, supposedly offering savings but which require constant monitoring. 

    For me, this is far less about frugality (I don't bother, for example, with reward schemes like Nectar) than about feeling I've made the right decision.  And, as soon as I make a decision, I feel it was probably wrong - and will continue to seek evidence to confirm or refute that belief.  So, to return to the thread title, I worry about having done something "wrong" even when I am the only person to believe it was wrong.  And far beyond the sphere of morality or "appropriate" behaviour.  As soon as I press the "Submit" button for this post, I'll start to think I could have expressed myself better...

Reply

  • That's very interesting, Ferret, though in my case (and at the risk of hijacking the thread) I feel there must be other issues, as often there is no problem for me to resolve when the replay begins.  Maybe it's a quest for perfection - and that creates the problem.  Even when I do something well, I can't help thinking of perhaps better outcomes if I'd done it differently.  In other words, I'm adding hypothetical data.

    But sometimes there's already too much data.  I find it increasingly difficult to make decisions, even about low value purchases.  Internet shopping offers so many variables - different brands of the same products, which are superficially similar, at different prices from different vendors.

    I've become a very restrained consumer (some months my credit card bill is under £5!)  And that restraint is largely because I find the range of products and prices so exhausting to process that in the end I'm totally deterred and buy nothing.  But even necessities do not escape complexity. Take domestic fuel supply; when I was young, one simply had a contract with the gas or electricity board and there was basically only one tariff.  There was nothing to think about.  Now there's a huge number of suppliers, each with a range of tariffs, supposedly offering savings but which require constant monitoring. 

    For me, this is far less about frugality (I don't bother, for example, with reward schemes like Nectar) than about feeling I've made the right decision.  And, as soon as I make a decision, I feel it was probably wrong - and will continue to seek evidence to confirm or refute that belief.  So, to return to the thread title, I worry about having done something "wrong" even when I am the only person to believe it was wrong.  And far beyond the sphere of morality or "appropriate" behaviour.  As soon as I press the "Submit" button for this post, I'll start to think I could have expressed myself better...

Children
No Data