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Blending in (mimicking)

ToeJam

I received my diagnosis late in life (last year, 40 now) and I guess one of the 'skills' I developed prior to knowing I had ASD was to blend through trial and error/past experience. Before I say anything, I filter thoughts very quickly to determine appropriateness/potential to insult/contentiousness.

When it works I don't think anyone would know I have any social difficulties... but when it doesn't, I berate myself to the point of self hate... not particularly because I upset someone as such... but because I got it wrong and concern over any (self percieved) long term consequences it might have with that particular person/group.

My support worker (Autism trained) has been telling me that I worry too much and try to hard... that I should stop blending and just be me... but that's essentially telling me to disregard 39 years of behaviour (that for the most part works) and potentially go full Aspie (I hope me saying that doesn't offend anyone). 

I can still remember what social situations were like (in my teens and early 20's) when I hadn't gotten good at mimicking... and it wasn't pleasant (sometimes resulted in physical/verbal abuse).

So, I'm curious if anyone can relate to this or has any tips with respect to accepting their Aspergers and being content with who they are. Still coming to terms with the diagnosis (was a surprise when I first was informed of the pyschiatrists suspicions that it was).

Thanks for your time.

Parents

  • I am sorry for not getting back to these boards sooner and apologize for not seeing the extra replies till now. With that said, I am grateful for the responses and having also been an rpg'er (I found LARP a bit too hard) was interesting to read that others have also invested time in this :)

  • in reply to ToeJam

    Hi toe jam thank you for bringing this back to the top. I instantly recognised myself in your discription,always trying to analyse the person before responding in what I think would be comparable.

    I have not been here long,had doubts at first as to wether or not I was autistic.but having spent time here I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that I am, no formal diagnosis, I have met many autistic folks on here each and every one unique but each sharing common pronounced thoughts.

    I am 55 and male,married two grown up daughters etc,for all intents NT, Some here have masks! I prefer characters and the acting analogy.

    I deserve a nomination for an award,maybe not winning it as I always act slightly wrong,subtle but better than a soap star actor.Lol.

    take care and thank you for checking in.

    by the way how are you?

Reply
  • in reply to ToeJam

    Hi toe jam thank you for bringing this back to the top. I instantly recognised myself in your discription,always trying to analyse the person before responding in what I think would be comparable.

    I have not been here long,had doubts at first as to wether or not I was autistic.but having spent time here I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that I am, no formal diagnosis, I have met many autistic folks on here each and every one unique but each sharing common pronounced thoughts.

    I am 55 and male,married two grown up daughters etc,for all intents NT, Some here have masks! I prefer characters and the acting analogy.

    I deserve a nomination for an award,maybe not winning it as I always act slightly wrong,subtle but better than a soap star actor.Lol.

    take care and thank you for checking in.

    by the way how are you?

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