Blending in (mimicking)

Evan, until I started the ASD diagnosis process (which took almost a year due to 3/4 month gaps between appointments), I had thought that I might have BPD (Borderline) since I had read that malleable identity is a common feature, in addition to fear of rejection & dislike of spending too much time alone. Similarly, based on what I had read, I had incorrectly thought that ASD was characterised by rigid identity, dislike of social situations, difficulty with reading body language etc.

Once I accepted the possibilty I was on the autistic spectrum though, despite what I had always perceived as large contradictions, I started googling terms like 'Asperger Chameleon'. Much to my surprise, I found quite a few accounts of other people with ASD that had similar experiences to mine, right down to the issues with sometimes feeling like they have no real identity.

When I meet people in a new environment, it isn't quite like being in the witness protection program & creating a totally new random identity. It's more like starting out fairly opaque & then gradually fleshing out the details as required. I can only draw on my own personal experience though, as I dislike falsehood & deception. Omission & misdirection are fine though, and as most people only see what they want to see, that is usually enough. All my 'Masks' are really just idealised aspects of myself defined by the people I am with, which is also why I find prolonged solitude difficult, i.e. I feel increasingly fragmented & don't know who I am supposed to be.

On a lighter note though, by 'LARP' do you mean the one where people dress up & run around in old office buildings crudely disguised as dungeons? I've always wanted to try that, but never had the chance. A good friend of mine makes money dressing up as a zombie for something similar to that, where customers pay £100 to run round in the dark with paintball guns while the zombies jump out & scare them. I never fancied it though, as the rubber makeup would get stuck in my beard & it has taken me ages to grow it long enough to earn the nickname 'Santa' (which I find highly amusing).

Have fun

Evan, until I started the ASD diagnosis process (which took almost a year due to 3/4 month gaps between appointments), I had thought that I might have BPD (Borderline) since I had read that malleable identity is a common feature, in addition to fear of rejection & dislike of spending too much time alone. Similarly, based on what I had read, I had incorrectly thought that ASD was characterised by rigid identity, dislike of social situations, difficulty with reading body language etc.

Once I accepted the possibilty I was on the autistic spectrum though, despite what I had always perceived as large contradictions, I started googling terms like 'Asperger Chameleon'. Much to my surprise, I found quite a few accounts of other people with ASD that had similar experiences to mine, right down to the issues with sometimes feeling like they have no real identity.

When I meet people in a new environment, it isn't quite like being in the witness protection program & creating a totally new random identity. It's more like starting out fairly opaque & then gradually fleshing out the details as required. I can only draw on my own personal experience though, as I dislike falsehood & deception. Omission & misdirection are fine though, and as most people only see what they want to see, that is usually enough. All my 'Masks' are really just idealised aspects of myself defined by the people I am with, which is also why I find prolonged solitude difficult, i.e. I feel increasingly fragmented & don't know who I am supposed to be.

On a lighter note though, by 'LARP' do you mean the one where people dress up & run around in old office buildings crudely disguised as dungeons? I've always wanted to try that, but never had the chance. A good friend of mine makes money dressing up as a zombie for something similar to that, where customers pay £100 to run round in the dark with paintball guns while the zombies jump out & scare them. I never fancied it though, as the rubber makeup would get stuck in my beard & it has taken me ages to grow it long enough to earn the nickname 'Santa' (which I find highly amusing).

Have fun