Anybody out there right now?

Hi sam, I'm a woman and according to the passport 36, otherwise more like 14 maybe or sometimes 4... Not in a good way though and not in an academic way either (which is good of course but means the 14 year old inside me is annoying and the 4 year old absolutely not on).

Don't think I struggle with that label as such, it was a bit borderline in some areas anyway, but they aren't the ones causing trouble. But I can't quite deny the ones that do cause problems and it has turned out now that people were annoyed about me all life long and I didn't really notice it. Guess that's a thought I'm struggling with. And knowing that the way I am is seen as unacceptable.

Not sure if I agree with Ferret regarding crying. Well, for the moment it’s probably good, there’s nothing wrong with it, but otherwise (unless very well hidden) it’s seen as a bad thing if that’s a way of dealing with overwhelming emotions others don’t understand (at least not why they would be overwhelming). In fact any reaction to this is seen as bad which may provoke reactions that are even worse, at least if you have been diagnosed quite late, which probably means that people don’t just identify you as autistic the moment they meet you.

A bit funny to read your history – could have been me, except for the seeing the gp a lot thing. Well, and for the fact that it hadn’t appeared to me but a counsellor suggested it. Seems more common that people notice it themselves like you did, perhaps I’ve been a bit ignorant.

Maybe, given that you had this suspicion yourself, it will actually make you feel calmer over time than you did for years. You must have been thinking quite a lot about it over a long time. I can imagine the emptiness now, but a two year old child and everything else going on will hopefully fill this quite soon. The feeling of being overwhelmed by this diagnosis will go, even if it takes a bit. It’s gone from my head, partially at least, and I really wanted to be told that I’m “normal”, it’s gone from other people’s heads, so I’m quite sure it will leave you in peace eventually too. Have you told someone about it who could perhaps look after your son to give you an hour or two of space at short notice? Just knowing that the possibility is there may make you feel more relaxed about it.

Anyway, long phone call got in between, so I hope you perhaps went to bed in the meantime and managed to sleep o.k. and it all feels a bit more manageable now.

Take care and try to be patient, giving your head a bit of time to process things! Would be nice to hear from you again if you feel like it.

Hi sam, I'm a woman and according to the passport 36, otherwise more like 14 maybe or sometimes 4... Not in a good way though and not in an academic way either (which is good of course but means the 14 year old inside me is annoying and the 4 year old absolutely not on).

Don't think I struggle with that label as such, it was a bit borderline in some areas anyway, but they aren't the ones causing trouble. But I can't quite deny the ones that do cause problems and it has turned out now that people were annoyed about me all life long and I didn't really notice it. Guess that's a thought I'm struggling with. And knowing that the way I am is seen as unacceptable.

Not sure if I agree with Ferret regarding crying. Well, for the moment it’s probably good, there’s nothing wrong with it, but otherwise (unless very well hidden) it’s seen as a bad thing if that’s a way of dealing with overwhelming emotions others don’t understand (at least not why they would be overwhelming). In fact any reaction to this is seen as bad which may provoke reactions that are even worse, at least if you have been diagnosed quite late, which probably means that people don’t just identify you as autistic the moment they meet you.

A bit funny to read your history – could have been me, except for the seeing the gp a lot thing. Well, and for the fact that it hadn’t appeared to me but a counsellor suggested it. Seems more common that people notice it themselves like you did, perhaps I’ve been a bit ignorant.

Maybe, given that you had this suspicion yourself, it will actually make you feel calmer over time than you did for years. You must have been thinking quite a lot about it over a long time. I can imagine the emptiness now, but a two year old child and everything else going on will hopefully fill this quite soon. The feeling of being overwhelmed by this diagnosis will go, even if it takes a bit. It’s gone from my head, partially at least, and I really wanted to be told that I’m “normal”, it’s gone from other people’s heads, so I’m quite sure it will leave you in peace eventually too. Have you told someone about it who could perhaps look after your son to give you an hour or two of space at short notice? Just knowing that the possibility is there may make you feel more relaxed about it.

Anyway, long phone call got in between, so I hope you perhaps went to bed in the meantime and managed to sleep o.k. and it all feels a bit more manageable now.

Take care and try to be patient, giving your head a bit of time to process things! Would be nice to hear from you again if you feel like it.