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Im destroying my relationship

gingy

Hello,

Im new here and a bit unsure of where to start but I mainly came looking for help becasue recently I have been creating a load of problems in my relationship.

I have been with my partner for over a year and recently I have been destroying the relationship by being to controling. I dont realize when Im doing it how irrational I am being but afterwards I am embarassed by my behaviour. I do things like call to many times, repeatedly call until I receive an answer, I have been crying a lot lately becasue I am so frustrated with not being able to express myself in a way that my partner can understand or recognize what I need. When my partner does know what I need sometimes when it isn't given to me I have what if I was 5 would be considered a tempertantrum or crying fit.

I don't know why I act this way or how to change things. I love my partner and don't want to be doing this anymore, I want to be in a relationship where I can feel comfortable and not always on edge, not worry that im going to mess it up, how I am acting is probably boarder line abusive and I need to find a solution.

does anyone know of any good resources for aspi adults and relationships?

Parents

  • You're trying to control your own enviroment. The world is filled with things we can not control since those of us with AS and autism struggle with the idea of change, we often focus too much on what we can control. I can understand why you are worried.

    This may not be a long term sulution, but this is how I got out of situations like these. Start by making very little changes each day. For example, you say you call too many times. Maybe you could start by saying "I'm only going to call once today" It would be difficult at first but I'm sure after a short while you would get into the rutine.

    I'm sorry if this isn't much help. Good luck. 

Reply

  • You're trying to control your own enviroment. The world is filled with things we can not control since those of us with AS and autism struggle with the idea of change, we often focus too much on what we can control. I can understand why you are worried.

    This may not be a long term sulution, but this is how I got out of situations like these. Start by making very little changes each day. For example, you say you call too many times. Maybe you could start by saying "I'm only going to call once today" It would be difficult at first but I'm sure after a short while you would get into the rutine.

    I'm sorry if this isn't much help. Good luck. 

Children
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