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Charity shops with uncharitable managers

DeeEll

With regret, I no longer have a volunteering job, or any job at all. This is because recently, I was unfairly dismissed by two insensitive managers at two different establishments. I say unfairly, because on both occasions I was just behaving like I normally do as an autistic, and yet both these charity shops (Oxfam and Cancer Research UK) are used to having volunteers on the spectrum. I am a veteran volunteer, and when I started out doing this, I very rarely had this kind of ill treatment or prejudice. If i had a meltdown, or a.semblance of one, they would just ask 'are you ok?' rather than say 'behave yourself and stop acting like a child!' I am just being who I am - they are the ones with the problem.

For me, charity work is harder to find now than ever. With my wealth of experience, I was sure I would have a good chance of getting a new job at a new charity, but they dont seem to give a monkey about me any more. They only seem interested in neurotypical "normal" people, in the belief that they are more reliable and generally more ABLE.

I'm tired of this feeling of not having a purpose. Volunteering has given me a purpose and a chance to contribute to society, but now all I see are doors slamming in my face. I may never get out of this.

  • Ok, I'm pleased to announce I've found a job at the British Heart Foundation in Derby. I tried on 3 occasions to get one at the Burton-on-Trent branch , but they avoided me every time. The manager seems a lot more tolerant, and she has taken the effort to discuss my autism in detail (she found out after calling my mum, I didn't mention ASD on the app form as I didn't want to be instantly rejected because of it). I suppose nowadays, you have to go a little further afield if you want to "make it happen".

  • I left my volunteer position not too long ago because the manager kept asking me to do the same physically demanding job every day (she used my height and dexterity to her advantage), initially i did 4 hours a day, 5 days a week then went down to 2 days a week then eventually left because overtime i felt really anxious, mental breakdowns were more frequent because I was dealing with difficult people (both staff and customers).

    All staff claimed they weren't paid but later found out as I was given a job description about the job had I gone through the conventional channels, the manager and assistant-manager were paid and also the ones handling cash were also paid and splashing it out on McDonalds and M&S every once in a while and also had the nerve of asking me to walk all the way down to mcdonalds to get their food whilst not allowing me to get something for myself as I was working for free. At least someone there gave me a pointer to stick up for myself, dunno if that meant refusing to do what the manager tells me because i was volunteering my time there and hinted that they were taking advantage of me because i'm not the argumentative type.

    Since then I have applied to various work experience/volunteer placements such as Barnardo's, Mind, Scope, ND, and supermarkets. I think it's just a lottery now since even supermarkets aren't taking volunteers, and also as my specialism is in computers, asked if PC world has any technician vacancies but I think it's a long shot in times like these. Although retail isn't the ideal place of work for me it's better than nothing.

  • Sorry to vent but I've had problems with co-workers stealing too. The problem is that co-workers are allowed access to too much info about you. They know who the company values most & who is most at risk. The ethically challenged out there abuse that.

    I've never stolen anything ever. At my first job a lot of stealing went on by bitter management. With new managers there was a new stock inventory done. The only problem is they were very stupid. Customers literally stole crates the moment their backs were turned. Leading the managers to become resentful because they assumed it was other staff. So they decided they'd steal too.
    Then at sainsburys at the end of my shift by the third month, all of a sudden there were a lot of stop & search checks. Where they stood at the top of staff stairs & asked everyone to turn out pockets. I had none & was asked to turn up my collar. It just seemed like the target was me, even though it was presented as a normal check. Soon after my till was also regularly checked before I went off duty. They never said anything, but I know this didn't happen to other staff. I left a few months later, as I hated the work. They tried to offer me an office job instead.
    Stealing also happened during a forced placement at primark. Colleagues would come up to me & imply they'd stolen money by flashing wedges of cash from their pockets (while on the shop floor). As an aspie I think our body language can come across as a bit shifty. I was continually singled out & a manager even came down, taking me off a till in front of a dozen other cashiers. He started counting my till in front of them all. At the end he shook his head & loudly said it was down money. It was humiliating. I felt he or the woman on the till before me had stolen. 

    I was summoned to the accounting office & told money was always going missing from my till. Half a dozen till copy roles were sat on the desk in front of me. With the implication it showed dodgy activity, such as the till being opened. Which was actually the supervisor swapping change, but I naively assumed they knew. They even used my fathers recent death, which I'd never told anyone about. Implying that was a motive. I know there was only one time my till was missing money. But that was due to giving too much change to a customer, who brought it back before the till was counted.

    I was put on the shop floor for the rest of the day. Lots of staff came up to me & said are you being sacked. What are you going to do. Will you stick it to them & quit first. I couldn't quit, due to benefit rules. But obviously I was let go a few weeks later when the trial period ended. I hated every second there, so they did me a favour really.

    I hope you get good news from MIND soon.

  • I live near Derby, and a new branch of MIND has just opened there, so I applied to help out there, and I'm now awaiting their response.

    I should point out that I worked at Scope, a disability-specific charity, for over 18 months (the joint longest time I ever spent working at a charity shop). The people there were very understanding, but I left that one under a cloud as well. The manager there accused me of stealing - but I had known other volunteers there who have stolen stuff and got away with it, so I couldn't understand why I was being singled out.

  • Don't worry you're not alone. Charity shops have their pick of volunteers these days. People have learned they can use such jobs on CVs to boast managerial skills etc. It's become a business like any other to most. With a lot of busy charity shops becoming at least as stressful as any paid job.

    Before my diagnosis I was forced via JSA to take up 'volunteer' jobs in charity shops such as BHF. For me it was a very confusing, stressful & unhappy time. Which worked in an opposite way to you, as it contributed to me becoming unable to work. The staff there hadn't a clue. They would take those like me on (shy & early 20s) as if they were doing a charity for us. I'm over a decade older now & I have no doubt they'd have no time for me now.

    There seems to be plenty of charities for cancer, heart, elderly, children & poverty. It's a shame there aren't more charities aimed at mental health. Especially as mental health is probably the most common cause of illness in the UK. A mental health charity would probably be more sympathetic to your needs.