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People Turning Up Unannounced

Paddy

Hello everyone. I would like to ask if anyone else is bothered by people turning up unannounced? It is just one of my pet peeves. I know logically that other people don't have a problem with it, but it just really annoys me when people don't phone before saying they are going to come over, they always seem to arrive close to a meal time (I don't like eating in front of other people), so I have to put off my meal, and they seem to stay for hours, irrespective of whether I or my family may have something they want to do.

I find it incredibly difficult to deal with situations like this, and it causes me a great deal of stress, but I am sure I just come across as rude to some people when I don't particularly want to interrupt with them when they have arrived without telling me or my parents that they were going to come.

I know people on the spectrum can be difficult for people who are not on the spectrum to deal with, but I wish people would take my needs into consideration, sometimes.

Parents

  • Thank you very much for your advice Telstar. Unfortunately, my family is not of the supportive variety in many ways. Their needs tend to outweigh others, particularly mine. My parents do try, but they just find it very difficult to see things from my point of view, other than my father, who I suspect is also on the spectrum.

    I live at home, and, because of disability don't go out much, and, with my parents being elderly, they don't go out a lot either, so that option isn't available. Because we are in all the time, I think it's taken for granted that they don't need to phone when they come over, even though I would consider that only polite to do.

    I often do leave the room, or stay upstairs when they come here, yes, and I find it much more calming than being around them, although I do try to make an appearance more often than not, because I don't want to appear rude to them. Family is important to me, but, sometimes, I find life a lot easier when I am alone.

    Thanks again.

Reply

  • Thank you very much for your advice Telstar. Unfortunately, my family is not of the supportive variety in many ways. Their needs tend to outweigh others, particularly mine. My parents do try, but they just find it very difficult to see things from my point of view, other than my father, who I suspect is also on the spectrum.

    I live at home, and, because of disability don't go out much, and, with my parents being elderly, they don't go out a lot either, so that option isn't available. Because we are in all the time, I think it's taken for granted that they don't need to phone when they come over, even though I would consider that only polite to do.

    I often do leave the room, or stay upstairs when they come here, yes, and I find it much more calming than being around them, although I do try to make an appearance more often than not, because I don't want to appear rude to them. Family is important to me, but, sometimes, I find life a lot easier when I am alone.

    Thanks again.

Children
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