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People Turning Up Unannounced

Paddy

Hello everyone. I would like to ask if anyone else is bothered by people turning up unannounced? It is just one of my pet peeves. I know logically that other people don't have a problem with it, but it just really annoys me when people don't phone before saying they are going to come over, they always seem to arrive close to a meal time (I don't like eating in front of other people), so I have to put off my meal, and they seem to stay for hours, irrespective of whether I or my family may have something they want to do.

I find it incredibly difficult to deal with situations like this, and it causes me a great deal of stress, but I am sure I just come across as rude to some people when I don't particularly want to interrupt with them when they have arrived without telling me or my parents that they were going to come.

I know people on the spectrum can be difficult for people who are not on the spectrum to deal with, but I wish people would take my needs into consideration, sometimes.

Parents

  • Hi again Paddy,

    It's a shame that nobody else knows about your ASC, as they might take time to understand a bit more if they did.  I'm waiting for my assessment (due in 6 weeks), and I've only informed immediate family and a couple of cousins that I'm having one, but they've been very supportive, so sometimes it might be that people do understand.  I don't know if I'll be diagnosed with an ASC yet, but the AQ, EQ, SQ-R and Alexithymia tests I've done online have all read in the affirmative.

    I'm trying to think if there is another way of asking people to give you prior notice of a visit - perhaps you could say that if they contact you beforehand, you can make sure that you stay in, and are not about to go out/are out when they call.  I know it's a poor idea, but it might make them stop and think.

    The other thing is, can you go somewhere in the house when people visit, just so you're alone for a few minutes?  I sometimes do this, and find it can really help.  Obviously you can't do this if you live alone, but if someone else is there to talk to visitors, it might give you a much needed break.

    Sorry I can't be more constructive about it, but as you say, it's nice to know that there are many of us who have the same problems with our routines being changed.  Perhaps other forum members might have some tips of their own.

Reply

  • Hi again Paddy,

    It's a shame that nobody else knows about your ASC, as they might take time to understand a bit more if they did.  I'm waiting for my assessment (due in 6 weeks), and I've only informed immediate family and a couple of cousins that I'm having one, but they've been very supportive, so sometimes it might be that people do understand.  I don't know if I'll be diagnosed with an ASC yet, but the AQ, EQ, SQ-R and Alexithymia tests I've done online have all read in the affirmative.

    I'm trying to think if there is another way of asking people to give you prior notice of a visit - perhaps you could say that if they contact you beforehand, you can make sure that you stay in, and are not about to go out/are out when they call.  I know it's a poor idea, but it might make them stop and think.

    The other thing is, can you go somewhere in the house when people visit, just so you're alone for a few minutes?  I sometimes do this, and find it can really help.  Obviously you can't do this if you live alone, but if someone else is there to talk to visitors, it might give you a much needed break.

    Sorry I can't be more constructive about it, but as you say, it's nice to know that there are many of us who have the same problems with our routines being changed.  Perhaps other forum members might have some tips of their own.

Children
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