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People Turning Up Unannounced

Paddy

Hello everyone. I would like to ask if anyone else is bothered by people turning up unannounced? It is just one of my pet peeves. I know logically that other people don't have a problem with it, but it just really annoys me when people don't phone before saying they are going to come over, they always seem to arrive close to a meal time (I don't like eating in front of other people), so I have to put off my meal, and they seem to stay for hours, irrespective of whether I or my family may have something they want to do.

I find it incredibly difficult to deal with situations like this, and it causes me a great deal of stress, but I am sure I just come across as rude to some people when I don't particularly want to interrupt with them when they have arrived without telling me or my parents that they were going to come.

I know people on the spectrum can be difficult for people who are not on the spectrum to deal with, but I wish people would take my needs into consideration, sometimes.

Parents

  • Hi Paddy,

    I can indentify with this too, as I find it really difficult to change my plans and my routines.  I have set things I do during certain days, or in the evening (for example, Friday is my "radio night", because there are so many good programmes on!), and I hate it if I have to change it.

    The only time I seem to be able to cope with it is if I have several days notice of a change, and then the several day time period makes it easier to accept - although I still really don't like my routine being changed most times.  If my routine is suddenly changed I can go into a sort of depression, though given time, I can then accept the change, though grudgingly.

    I imagine this is to do with people with an ASC disliking change, and very much preferring routine - then there are no surprises.

    I really agree with you that people should think about their actions, and give others plenty of notice of their actions, at least for those of us on the spectrum.  Perhaps the visitors could be made aware of how an ASC affects you, so perhaps in future they can give advance notice of their visits?

    I do very much understand what you're saying though - it's one of the things I find very hard to cope with.

Reply

  • Hi Paddy,

    I can indentify with this too, as I find it really difficult to change my plans and my routines.  I have set things I do during certain days, or in the evening (for example, Friday is my "radio night", because there are so many good programmes on!), and I hate it if I have to change it.

    The only time I seem to be able to cope with it is if I have several days notice of a change, and then the several day time period makes it easier to accept - although I still really don't like my routine being changed most times.  If my routine is suddenly changed I can go into a sort of depression, though given time, I can then accept the change, though grudgingly.

    I imagine this is to do with people with an ASC disliking change, and very much preferring routine - then there are no surprises.

    I really agree with you that people should think about their actions, and give others plenty of notice of their actions, at least for those of us on the spectrum.  Perhaps the visitors could be made aware of how an ASC affects you, so perhaps in future they can give advance notice of their visits?

    I do very much understand what you're saying though - it's one of the things I find very hard to cope with.

Children
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