Adult regression

This has been a pattern for me all my life.  I'm now 44, and only became aware that I'm autistic about 3 years ago.  I went from school to school, to college, to university, and from job to job, following the same pattern:  initially enthusiastic, but after 2 or 3 months, not being able to cope.

A large part of the problem, I think, was that I would go in, faking it, desperately trying to fit in with the neurotypical people around me.  Unfortunately, there's no way you can keep that up for a long period, and the stress of doing so is either going to break you, or cause you to behave in a way that will alienate you from those you have to work with.

I ended up becoming a freelance contractor, partly to give me an excuse to keep moving jobs without it harming my career record and partly because contractors are less likely to have to attend a traditional job interview!

What I have found in the last 2 years is that being open and honest with people about my autism means I don't need to keep up so much of a pretence.  This brings the stress levels right down, and I can save the "neurotypical impressions" for when it's really needed.  

I'm very careful who I reveal this to, of course... I might start by dropping occasoinal hints like "I'm afraid my brain's just not wired that way", and try to see how they react.  This is difficult, as I am terrible at interpretting other people's behaviour, but I've had more successes than failures.

This has been a pattern for me all my life.  I'm now 44, and only became aware that I'm autistic about 3 years ago.  I went from school to school, to college, to university, and from job to job, following the same pattern:  initially enthusiastic, but after 2 or 3 months, not being able to cope.

A large part of the problem, I think, was that I would go in, faking it, desperately trying to fit in with the neurotypical people around me.  Unfortunately, there's no way you can keep that up for a long period, and the stress of doing so is either going to break you, or cause you to behave in a way that will alienate you from those you have to work with.

I ended up becoming a freelance contractor, partly to give me an excuse to keep moving jobs without it harming my career record and partly because contractors are less likely to have to attend a traditional job interview!

What I have found in the last 2 years is that being open and honest with people about my autism means I don't need to keep up so much of a pretence.  This brings the stress levels right down, and I can save the "neurotypical impressions" for when it's really needed.  

I'm very careful who I reveal this to, of course... I might start by dropping occasoinal hints like "I'm afraid my brain's just not wired that way", and try to see how they react.  This is difficult, as I am terrible at interpretting other people's behaviour, but I've had more successes than failures.