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AS and birthdays

AndyC

As my birthday is coming up soon again I was just wondering if anybody else has difficulties with their birthdays. With each passing year I find my birthday more of a struggle. 

It’s not the day per se or the fact that I’m getting older, but I find all the attention I get on my birthday rather overwhelming and sooner or later I wish that everybody just leaves me alone. I also don’t like getting presents and surprises in general. I hate having phone calls and usually everybody phones on that day and that just stresses me out a lot. It makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious and I generally just feel very, very exhausted in the end. 

However, people just don’t seem to understand why I’d rather be on my own on that day and they think I’m just being a diva when I tell them not to come round or not to phone. I don’t mean to hurt or reject anyone by doing this, but I just cannot handle this situation very well. 

Does anybody else feel like this?

Parents

  • I find the birthdays of my nearest and dearest exhausting.  I don't understand the excitement and joy that most people seem to derive from their birthdays.

    .....but my real frustration and upset, comes on my own birthday.  My understanding is that, societally, you can pretty much do whatever you want to do on your birthday.  Accordingly, I just want to be left alone to treat it just like any other day, albeit with me perhaps doing something "special" for myself = sorting out my "random" screw box / fixing something from my "to fix" box.  No fuss. No fan fair.  I am very happy to receive gifts IF the person offering that gift has some good and relevant reason for thinking I might want it.  Generally, however, I am given booze or some nonsensical "thing" that, if it was allowable, I would just want to immediately give away or put in the bin.  90% of "normal" gifts are pointless for me.  Accordingly, I ALWAYS ask for no gifts.  It strangely offends and infuriates me that this simple and reasonable request (in my eyes) is disregarded and ignored by most people.

    Despite some accommodations and some reluctant acceptance of my approach to my own birthday (from my nearest and dearest), I am always made to feel somehow grumpy, ungrateful or miserable by people from my wider circle / family - albeit with some very notable exceptions (ie my true friend/s - they get it.)

    In summary  - on my birthday, I feel judged and pitied and the birthdays of others exhaust me.  Not a fan of birthdays. 

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  • I find the birthdays of my nearest and dearest exhausting.  I don't understand the excitement and joy that most people seem to derive from their birthdays.

    .....but my real frustration and upset, comes on my own birthday.  My understanding is that, societally, you can pretty much do whatever you want to do on your birthday.  Accordingly, I just want to be left alone to treat it just like any other day, albeit with me perhaps doing something "special" for myself = sorting out my "random" screw box / fixing something from my "to fix" box.  No fuss. No fan fair.  I am very happy to receive gifts IF the person offering that gift has some good and relevant reason for thinking I might want it.  Generally, however, I am given booze or some nonsensical "thing" that, if it was allowable, I would just want to immediately give away or put in the bin.  90% of "normal" gifts are pointless for me.  Accordingly, I ALWAYS ask for no gifts.  It strangely offends and infuriates me that this simple and reasonable request (in my eyes) is disregarded and ignored by most people.

    Despite some accommodations and some reluctant acceptance of my approach to my own birthday (from my nearest and dearest), I am always made to feel somehow grumpy, ungrateful or miserable by people from my wider circle / family - albeit with some very notable exceptions (ie my true friend/s - they get it.)

    In summary  - on my birthday, I feel judged and pitied and the birthdays of others exhaust me.  Not a fan of birthdays. 

Children