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AS and birthdays

AndyC

As my birthday is coming up soon again I was just wondering if anybody else has difficulties with their birthdays. With each passing year I find my birthday more of a struggle. 

It’s not the day per se or the fact that I’m getting older, but I find all the attention I get on my birthday rather overwhelming and sooner or later I wish that everybody just leaves me alone. I also don’t like getting presents and surprises in general. I hate having phone calls and usually everybody phones on that day and that just stresses me out a lot. It makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious and I generally just feel very, very exhausted in the end. 

However, people just don’t seem to understand why I’d rather be on my own on that day and they think I’m just being a diva when I tell them not to come round or not to phone. I don’t mean to hurt or reject anyone by doing this, but I just cannot handle this situation very well. 

Does anybody else feel like this?

Parents

  • I tend to view my birthday as just another day. However, I consider it a welcome bonus when people remember and go to the effort of sending me a birthday card, but I've learnt not to expect it and take it for granted.

    As for presents, it is no longer something that I really need to worry about. My son has a good understanding of what I like, so rarely am I disappointed. My mother learnt a long time ago that it was easier just to give me money and let me decide what I wanted to spend it on.

Reply

  • I tend to view my birthday as just another day. However, I consider it a welcome bonus when people remember and go to the effort of sending me a birthday card, but I've learnt not to expect it and take it for granted.

    As for presents, it is no longer something that I really need to worry about. My son has a good understanding of what I like, so rarely am I disappointed. My mother learnt a long time ago that it was easier just to give me money and let me decide what I wanted to spend it on.

Children
  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    I half agree with the ‘just another day’ thing. My favourite version of my own birthday is one that passes quietly, unnoticed. Nothing to do with getting older, I just prefer it to be a moment of quiet contemplation, somewhat entwined with business as usual.  I don’t like being the focus of attention, or for anyone to put themselves out to get a card or something. But I do get a text or card or gift from family (sometimes a few days later, when they remember ‘late’ - none of us is too big on birthday fuss) and a friend or two. 

    Im always amazed at people who could fall out with someone over their birthday being overlooked. I suppose I can see how it might hurt, but human memory is fallible and lives are busy, and friendship or support is a million other favours and kindnesses over years surely a cake and a ‘so say all of us’ is the very least of it.