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Having a difficult time

random

Hi,

I am in a really bad way at the moment, I get these really deep spells with my anxiety and depression. What is triggering it is something I am sure many will find trivial, but I just can't settle myself.

My social worker gave me goal of selling some things. There were a couple of things I purchased earlier in the year, but lost receipt. Anyway I thought I was ask the store to see if they would give me a credit note. From a lengthy discussion over email, I was told manager agreed to give credit note at lowest price which I asked to confirm in an email.

When I returned them to the store, the manager was awkward, so I came pre-prepared with printout of the email, as I know I would find it difficult. She asked me when I bought them, I said with past three months. So she then decided to deduct a further value because of some promotion which was on which I never used.

It really affected me badly, and I didn't know what to do. I was furious, then I decided the price was too low and to leave it. Then I discovered the manager when she checked the item had not been careful handling them, and had holed the box of the back of one item. I collect these and condition is critical, I carefully placed both on the desk to check.

I asked if they would replace that set, but was refused. I didn't know what to do, in the end I felt I had no choice but to accept the lower value. I was so angry because I had gone to great lengths to check everything with customer services before hand, and they had already discussed it with this manager who responded I would receive credit for lowest value, which I asked her to confirm.

She made some odd comment that I was not giving her much information, but I had explained everything in an email in great detail.

I am worried about how deeply this had affected me, after leaving the store, I went to do my grocery shopping. At one point I felt like I was just going to collapse. I just got more anxious and couldn't cope. I drove home, just shouting all the way back, and didn't realise until it was too late that I was in a speed camera area, and was driving at wrong speed, just after i passed camera.

I know this is something trivial to a lot of people, I have many other problems which are more serious. I can logically see that, but my feelings are totally disjointed.

Random

  • Thank you for the update and for stocking the fridge.  Whenever you get a chance please would you make a list of foods you like for the fridge.   Time being please continue to stock the fridge with a few items:  roast chicken, some filling for sandwiches (chopped egg or ham?), soup, greens, potatoes.

    I hope today was a better day for you and that you have more peace and happiness.

  • Thanks for your reply, I have been feeling a little hungrier Today. I have kept my doctor and social worker aware of my problems with my diet and organising food. I will get some food for the fridge. My doctor is supportive, I am still waiting for some one to one support with my anxiety and depression. I can always link my low spells with certain events, although I guess lack of food could be adding to my exhaustion and the headaches.

    Random

  • It's relatively a lot of weight to loose (on top of the weight loss you'd already had).  Do you think there's a connection between the spells you've been having and lack of food?  I'm sorry you're going through this, is you doctor supportive? - would you feel comfortable discussing this issue with your doctor?

    please discuss this weight loss/loss of appetite with your doctor or another healthcare professional.   In the meantime please would you be able to sort a few sandwiches that you would eat and put them in the fridge along with boiled egg, salad veg, potato salad or similar.

  • Hi, thanks for the reply. Just unearthed some scales I bought years ago but never used. I was weighed at my doctors last November. I think I have lost around 1.2 stone since then. I think over three years I have lost roughly about 1.3 stone each year. 

    I don't think I would get on with the liquid food, I am ok with some soups. I have stopped taking Mirazepine for 1 week.

    I have been taking Zopiclone to help with sleeping, but only take them occaisionally at the moment. After Friday's deep spell I didn't sleep well, I took zopiclone last night.

    I am hoping my appetite will come back given time, had a good sign one lunchtime where I felt hungry and wanted food; it's like the messages for food in my body have gone awry.

    Random

  • Random you know yourself the most pressing concern is supplying yourself with enough nutrients, food - it sounds like you are eating a meagre amount daily and it isn't doing you any good moodwise or otherwise is it?  Would you be able to weigh yourself?  That would give you an approximate figure of how much weight you've lost since this difficulty with food started.

    I can see how hard the depression and anxiety is for you - you must have been very stressed when you stopped eating at mealtimes.  You've got sensory issues with food - would you be alright with liquid nutrition (the one doctors prescribe)?   liquid meal replacements prescribed by the Dr would give you a quick boost of nutrition and energy until you're feeling less under-par.  

    You've stopped mirtazapine - and still having loss of appetite, has your sleep pattern changed at all?  It's a bit of a delicate situation - you stopped one AD and started another - it's a different set of outcomes and side-effects.   With best wishes,

  • Hi,

    Thanks for the support, I decided not to go Tommorow in the end, it helps to hear from others. 

    Yes, I am stuggling with eating at the moment. I have discussed it with my gp, he doesn't seem to be concerned. Hopefully it is a side effect of the Mirtazepine, as it started around same time. We reduced the dose a few weeks, which improved my diet slightly, but has taken a turn in the other direction this week, after I stopped taking mirtazepine early this week.

    I am just about having breakfast most days, rarely have lunch, and now skipping a fair number of evening meals. I couldn't cope with a cooked meal every day at the moment, have had 2 cooked meals this week.

    I like rice and potatoes, but find I am very sensitive to texture and have a limited range of foods that I can eat. Just about enough range to cover a healthy diet; although my diet is far from healthy, just trying to eat to get enough energy. I have a particular problem with bread, it has to be just the right texture and very fresh. 

    For some time I have been struggling with arranging and preparing food, particularly supermarkets. I have to visit several times a week, and there are times I would leave with nothing, even when I have nothing to eat at home. At the time I think, oh I will have to get a take away, but rarely follow that up.

    The autism team pick this up, and relate it OCD rather than anything to do with autism, apart from the stress in supermarkets from other people.

    Random

  • Yes, I think you should put yourself first in this situation, random.

    Yep, the neighbour will be a bit put out but a good neighbour would be aware of your high stress at the moment and be understanding. You're already struggling so please don't do anything to make it worse, however, it's your decision, random.

  • Random what you're saying is that apart from the exhaustion and headaches you are struggling to eat?  Is there a nurse at your doctor's surgery you'd be able to discuss this with (and bring a diary of what you've eaten).   Would you be able to eat one cooked dinner a day?   Wrap a portion of whatever it is you like to eat in foil and bake in the oven.  Do you like steamed green veg?, rice? Potatoes?

    the neighbour and the five hour bus tour - I don't know - put yourself first - don't worry about letting him down.  Is it going to be manageable being on the road for 5 hours? - if not, send him a message, he can invite another neighbour.

  • Thanks for the replies and support, it does help.

    Feeling exhausted, so just trying to rest at the moment.

    I have had a change of medication recently to fluoxetine, maybe that is affecting me. I am getting headaches, I did phone nhs 111 number for advice last night. 

    My appetite has been badly affected to the point I am not eating much. I thought this was down to the drug I was on (mirtazepine). I had a lady come round to cut my hair this morning, and she mentioned that I had lost a lot of weight from when she last visited me several weeks ago.

    I think I may have been pushing myself too hard, selling things has caused a lot of anxiety and stress, still at a time when I have not recovered back to work full time. Hence the need to raise some money.

    I had planned a long drive to London this weekend to buy something, but have cancelled that. 

    A neighbour mentioned a bus tour on Sunday I am interested in, going to be five hours on the bus, I just don't feel up to it, but feel I am letting him down.

    Random

  • I'm not sure your social worker gave you the right advice there random. It just seems to have given you more problems.

    Can you not turn to your special interests to try to focus on something else to calm you down a bit?